I feel like the answer to this question is super obvious, but if you’re like me, every once in awhile you enjoy reading an Am I the A$$hole post that you just know is going to lead to a good amount of righteous anger.
If that’s what you’re here for, never fear – because this post is guaranteed to make everyone with a level head see red.
This woman is a mother to a daughter and a son, just a few years apart in age. Since her husband passed a decade ago, her daughter (the elder child, but who was only 21 at the time) stepped in to support and care for the family.
She’s made sure her younger brother arrived in adulthood without debt and allows her mother to live with her, rent and responsibility free.
I have a son (John, 28M) and daughter (Rita, 31F) and both are on OK terms with each other.
Ever since my husband away, nearly a decade ago, Rita has stepped up and taken care of all of us, financially.
She’s funded a huge portion of John’s life and helped him get a job without debt.
She’s let me live with her in her house and is very, very soft-spoken and calm.
Now her younger brother is getting married, and the couple has asked their older sister to help with the wedding costs (despite the bride having a large and supportive family), and she’s agreed so that they can start their life together on the right foot.
Recently, John proposed to his long time girlfriend Sam and they’ve begun planning their wedding.
Sam and John have made it clear that they want Rita to help them out financially (again) as they’re saving up for a house and a future child.
When dealing with guest list restrictions, the bride’s family and friends have taken precedence.
Recently, when learning they literally have to cut someone to add someone, the bride decided that an old friend of hers should get an invite over the groom’s sister.
Yes, the one who is helping to pay for the wedding.
Sam has a huge family and everyone there have very close relationships, so they’ve already cut down on the guests form John’s side.
Neither I nor Rita care about this, but recently one of Sam’s long lost childhood friends informed them that she’ll be in town during the wedding so they had to remove one guest because of the venue’s rules and that person was Rita.
Sam told John and John told me that she doesn’t want Rita to be there cause ‘they’re not very close’ and ‘she can always see the couple sometime else’.
The sister has decided that if that’s the case, she won’t be helping financially and has already made plans to go on a trip with friends the same weekend, presumably to take her mind off the fact that her brother, who she helped raise, is a gigantic prat.
I was rude and questioned her as to why they’re removing someone who’s helping them out to which the reply was ‘I don’t like how she’s butting in to John’s life’ and that ‘childhood friend is more likable.’
Rita’s hurt and told the couple that she won’t be paying a dime for the wedding and even went as far as planning a trip on the same dates with her friends.
The bride and the groom are somehow upset with the sister and OP about this decision.
Now John and Sam are yelling at me saying that I’ve spoiled her and made her into an egoistic loser but Rita’s already given them an engagement and a wedding gift (apart from the funding) so I told them that she’s done her part and that childhood friend could cover the expenses.
Sam’s mad and is threatening to go NC.
I personally am just ready to dive into the thrashing that I’m sure Reddit is about to provide.
The top comment is so baffled by how anyone could be this entitled that they’re wondering whether or not this is a real post.
It’s time the sister stops being so mild-mannered and kind and thinks about herself for awhile.
I love this Encanto comparison. It’s spot on.
It sounds as if it’s time for the brother (and his fiancee) to grow the heck up.
Don’t worry, they’re not letting OP off the hook, either.
Y’all, I cannot with this mother and her son – why would anyone think it’s ok to just let the daughter do it all, grief or not?
I hope she takes a long vacation, takes stock of her life, and lets everyone else start fending for themselves.
What about you? Please leave your thoughts in the comments!