Many, many women have spent their entire lives knowing that one day, they’ll be a mother themselves. They crave the pregnancy, the sweet little baby, and little people to love them and call them mama.
There are also a good number of women who have never dreamed that dream, and thanks to the way society is changing and being more willing to listen to women’s wants and needs, they no longer feel like they have to do it anyway.
If you’re curious why some women are firmly in the childfree camp, these 9 women are sharing their reasons!
9. It can be really scary.
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And “I’m nearly 38 and I still don’t want kids — I never have. Honestly, the thought of another person being dependent on me for the rest of my life absolutely terrifies me.
However, not a single person in my life who matters has ever questioned my decision; they all accept me for me, and that’s the way it should be for everyone. I can’t imagine a child knowing their parent doesn’t want them.”
8. Sometimes it’s not fair.
“I don’t want kids because I’ve been caring for my mom who’s been bedridden for a few years, and I don’t want to put myself through something similar ever again.
When people hear this, they ask me if I want someone to care for me when I’m old, and they tell me my mom would’ve been lost without me. I wouldn’t want to put my kid through the life I’ve had, and I definitely wouldn’t have a kid ‘just to be taken care of when I’m old.’”
7. To each her own.
“I’ve known I don’t want kids my entire life — I dislike everything about children.
I don’t want to put myself through pregnancy, and I don’t want to put all of my time and money into raising one.
It’s not my dream or my passion, and there are millions of other people out there who can do that instead. I will live my life how I want, just like they do.”
6. Kids take a lot of energy.
“I don’t want kids because I’ve been caring for my mom who’s been bedridden for a few years, and I don’t want to put myself through something similar ever again. When people hear this, they ask me if I want someone to care for me when I’m old, and they tell me my mom would’ve been lost without me.
I wouldn’t want to put my kid through the life I’ve had, and I definitely wouldn’t have a kid ‘just to be taken care of when I’m old.’”
5. No regrets.
“All my life I’ve never wanted children, but I’ve always had to deal with people telling me I’ll change my mind. I’m turning 30 soon, and to no surprise, my mind hasn’t changed!
It makes me question why people want my mind to change when I’m so passionately against this decision — if I had a kid, I would regret it.”
4. Life can still be fulfilling.
“I am 50 and chose not to have children. Now that I’m older, I thankfully don’t hear the ‘you’ll regret not having children’ speech.
I’m very content with my decision, as is my spouse of 25 years. I love and care for my rescue dogs, and that is fulfilling enough for me.”
3. You can’t give your own back when you’re tired.
“My husband and I have nieces and nephews and every time we visit them, we realize just how much we value our freedom. After spending only a few hours with them, we’re always mentally and physically exhausted. We love that we can travel on a whim, take a nap when we want, spend money on fun things, and drink when we want.
I was worried that if I went my whole life without having children that I’d feel a void, but as time goes on, I feel like I don’t need them to have a wonderful life. I enjoy being married to my husband, I love our life together, and I love my career, and in my mind, kids wouldn’t improve any of that.”
2. She’s breaking the cycle.
“I know that my parents resent me for being born and essentially ruining their marriage. My mother does love me, but I have always been able to tell that it’s only because she has to.
I can say with complete confidence that I don’t want kids. I wouldn’t have the emotional strength to deal with them, and I know I’d resent them, too. It just wouldn’t be fair to anyone.”
1. The responsible choice.
“I decided not to have children, and I think I would have been a terrible mother. I have no problem believing I would give every ounce of myself to care for a child — I just know I’d burn out. I know I’d neglect my own needs and I’d be unable to function — I also don’t want to make another me.
People ask things like: ‘Don’t you want to make someone with your kind of intelligence?’ I live in this brain, and I would not want to inflict my depression, anxiety, and OCD on my kid, so no. 100% no.”
These are all very valid reasons, and honestly, any reason is valid if it’s how you feel.
What were your best reasons to have (or not have) kids? Share with us in the comments!