There’s a time and a place for some friendly debate among adults about politics and things like that but it can get really old really fast when people insist on doing it all the time.
So is this woman a jerk for banning her husband from visiting her sister with her?
Take a look and let us know what you think in the comments.
“My sister, Marie, (29) and her husband Zach (40) had their first child, a beautiful baby girl, 2 months ago. They have been pretty nervous parents, so when my husband Tom (42) and I (37) were invited to finally meet our niece, I was thrilled except I was worried about Tom making an ass out of himself.
You see, Tom and Marie have always had a hard time getting along because they do not agree on nearly anything, and Tom has always gotten a kick out of challenging Marie on their differing views because they are both very opinionated.
The thing is to Tom, it is funny to watch Marie react when he says things to provoke her, and Marie always wants to prove his views wrong. In his head, because she was in grad school for social sciences (she finished right before having her baby) and is knowledgeable about the topics that Tom wants to argue about, Marie shouldn’t have a problem with debating him because “it’s literally her job”.
In the past, both Tom and Marie have initiated these arguments, and they have both been guilty of taking it too far in the past. But ever since she got pregnant/ had a baby Marie has calmed down a lot, whereas Tom still tries to “bait” her into debates about touchy subjects (mainly politics and personal values). This got to a point where Marie blocked him on all social media a few months ago.
Before we went to visit, I asked Tom to just be nice to Marie and Zach and not start anything. Tom said that he would try his best. I told him I would be very upset with him if he tried to “bait” Marie or Zach into an argument.
Tom started out the evening pretty strong and kept to himself, until it was revealed that Zach was going to be the one to stay home with their daughter. Tom made a comment like, “oh I thought mom was supposed to do that”.
Zach said that it was pretty s**ist for Tom to say that and when Tom asked how, Zach told him that moms can have careers too, and that Marie shouldn’t give up all the hard work she just did… Tom started on a tangent and Marie cut him off and told him to either quit or leave because she’s done entertaining his nonsense. Tom laughed it off, but it was still very awkward after this.
We didn’t stay for long after and when we got home, I told Tom that I am done with him embarrassing me and that he’s not allowed to join me whenever I visit Marie again, if I’m even invited back.
I told him that it doesn’t make him look smart when he always insists on having these conversations, that it just makes him look like an ass and me like a fool.
Tom said I’m blowing this way out of proportion and that it’s not his fault that they got so offended, and that if anything they were rude to kick him out over his opinion. But Marie didn’t do anything to him this time, she didn’t snap back at him, she didn’t call him names, she just asked him to stop.
AITA? Am I being unreasonable?”
Here’s what Reddit users had to say about this.
One reader said she’s NTA but she might want to consider reevaluating this relationship.
And this Reddit user said this doesn’t sound like debating, it sounds like her husband attacking people.
And this individual said she’s NTA and asked why she’s married to this insufferable man.
What do you think about this?
Let us know in the comments.
Thanks a lot!