What does your favorite director mean to you?

I’ll give you the rundown, and it’s very simple: each director has his own style, his little fads, his big obsessions. So when you have a favorite director, it says a lot about your personality. Very long. Long as a Peter Jackson trilogy with midgets running around. Come on, find your favorite director in this list and find out who you really are. Without wanting to give you orders, of course.

1. Wes Anderson

You’re super maniacal, the type that can’t stand that there’s a single thing wrong around you. You left your girlfriend the day you noticed she had scoliosis. If you were an object, you would be a double decimetre, but graduated on both sides to satisfy your need for symmetry.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

2. David Fincher

You like to kill baby cats in your spare time, and you’re thinking of moving on to humans in the very near future. Without wanting to offend you, your place is in prison, or at least with a good shrink.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

3. The Wachowski Sisters

You move exclusively by running on walls, you wear leather jackets, leather pants and leather girdles. You regularly try to stop bullets with your bare hands and it’s completely stupid.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

4. Clint Eastwood

Every morning, you leave your house to hoist an American flag in the sky. Bravo, you are a good patriot. Too bad you’re a little racist though.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

5. Denis Villeneuve

You love dust and sand so much that you spend your time rolling around in the desert. Problem: you have sand in the panties.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

6. David Lynch

You do completely insane things, like wearing two left shoes, pissing in your sink or saying you love Nagui. So people think you’re weird, and they’re kind of right.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

7. Christopher Nolan

You have major memory problems. Did you buy butter yesterday? Or was it a year ago? Or did you dream of it? Or is that what they’re trying to make you believe? You are lost.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

8. Xavier Dolan

Work out your issues with your mom, and then you can come back and talk to us.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

9.Tim Burton

You did an L baccalaureate, you have big problems with your self-confidence and you prefer to live at night so that your acne is less visible. We were like you too, but now we have to grow up, okay?

What does your favorite director mean to you?

10. Pedro Almodóvar

You are a 40-year-old girl who dresses at Desigual. Having not yet given up on your dream of finding love, you sign up for Spanish cooking classes hoping to meet Miguel, the flamenco dancer of your dreams. Unfortunately, instead, you come across Michel, an accountant from Narbonne. It’s nice anyway.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

11. Peter Jackson

Everything you do is taking way too long. Your showers last 3h40, blinking takes you 10 seconds, and you always miss cooking your pasta since you leave it in boiling water for about 2 days. Learn to make it a little shorter please, the world will be better off.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

12. Guillaume Canet

You like vacations in Arcachon, barbecues with friends where everyone talks about themselves and rotten dramas like running out of battery on your phone. Your life is about as interesting as a wrapper of crisps blowing down a gutter. And even…

What does your favorite director mean to you?

13. Quentin Tarantino

You are the dullest person in the universe. It’s simple, you like what everyone else likes. Your favorite football team is OM, you love raclette and you spend your holidays in the South. Damn, we’ve never seen anyone so boring.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

14. Sergio Leone

You like wide open spaces, leather overcoats, manly men, and stealing all of Kurosawa’s ideas.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

15. Michael Bay

BOOM SPLASH KABOOOM PAN PAN TATATATATATA PRRRRRRRRRR CLAC CLAC CLAC BOUUUUUUUUM

You are deaf.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

16. Woody Allen

You have very unhealthy relationships with some members of your family. Stopped.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

17. Quentin Dupieux

You put the milk in the cereal box. who starts talking.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

18. Kathryn Bigelow

Your life is made of stress and action. A guy is coming to fix your water heater? He’s a terrorist. A woman asks you for a fire in the street? She is about to assassinate the President of the United States. The bakery is out of pain au chocolat? She’s just out of pain au chocolat. Because yes, in reality, life is just boring.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

19. Agnes Varda

You did an M2 in cinema, thanks to this diploma you enter the ultra select team of the Varda fan club made up of only 3 people.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

20. David Cronenberg

You like making love to your microwave, cutting off your arm to replace it with a mechanical arm and fusing your larynx with an exhaust pipe. You are fascinated by the dirt accumulated at the bottom of your sink and your totem animal is a blobfish. In fact, you’re a little filthy.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

21. Jacques Demy

You sing of life.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

22. Jean-Luc Godard

People find you boring. Smart, but boring. And they are not wrong.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

23. Steven Spielberg

You’re a 30-year-old nostalgic for the days when we rented cassettes at the video club, when we had landline telephones and when we drank Tang. You miss your dinosaur figures and your Mega Drive. If not, do you plan to grow up one day?

What does your favorite director mean to you?

24. Terence Malik

You are the most boring person in the world. Your favorite drink: Contrex. Your favorite food: Warm tofu. When they ask you what you want to do, you answer ” as you wish “. If boredom had a face, it would yawn in front of you.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

25. Jane Campion

You love someone. He loves you too. But you don’t admit your feelings to each other. You are a bit of a jerk.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

26. M.Night Shyamalan

You are someone. No, actually you were someone else. Like what in life, we are never sure of anything.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

27. Martin Scorsese

You’re a little striker who will join the mafia and gradually climb the ladder until you become its godfather, before being bumped into in a dark alley. Change lanes while there’s still time.

What does your favorite director mean to you?

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