You never say no to a good and cheap little restaurant, especially after spending so much time eating lousy pasta at home. There are plenty of unusual restaurants in Paris and elsewhere that we want to try, but we should introduce rules to be sure to have a good time.
1. Super expensive burgers because they’re served on a slate
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Pretentious burger restaurants are easily recognized, there are signs that do not deceive. Already, the formula costs 20€, which is indecent for bread and a minced steak. The burger is never served on a plate but on a slate or a wooden board, there is a spike stuck in the bread and the fries are presented in a metal basket.
2. Serve Pepsi instead of Coke
Restaurant owners work with beverage suppliers and you have to make choices: Coke or Pepsi. Of course, everyone prefers Coke and it’s always unpleasant when you order a Coke, you are told “yes, of course” and you are served Pepsi. You know it’s substantially the same thing but you’re still annoyed for the principle.
3. The “lunch formula” or “evening formula”
Some restaurants have formulas and dishes available only at certain times of the day, who knows why. Want a bib? Ah no, it’s only the evening sorry. And why not a plaster of mussels and fries? Only at lunch unfortunately. Why is life so hard…
4. Disgusting wine offered as “wine by the glass”
When you order a glass of wine and not an entire bottle, chances are it’s gross wine that no one would order bottled. “I’ll take a bottle and bring it home after please, it will be much better”.
5. Bring the bill and leave without charging
When you ask the waiter for the bill, it often means that you want to PAY because you already know the amount. However, the waiters like to drop off the receipt and leave just as quickly and then you have to wait 10 minutes with your card in hand to hope for an eye contact or an “I’m coming” from them.
6. The supplement to have a vegetarian steak
It’s already not easy to become a vegetarian but it’s even harder to resist when you see the prices in restaurants. Sometimes you have to pay 2€, 3€ or 4€ more to have a veggie steak in a burger instead of a corpse steak (ouh that denounces) and frankly, it’s scandalous.
7. Cocktails or burgers with porn names
In recent years, some restaurants have had the hilarious idea of giving obscene names to their dishes to make it fun hehe. Except that the fun is quite limited and no one wants to eat a dish called “sperm sandwich”.
8. Wait for the order to say “oh no, we don’t have any more”
WHY not say there’s no more salmon gravlax when you hand us the Jeremy cards? I took way too long to choose and now I don’t know what to get. So I say “well, I’m going to take the same thing as Sandrine” when that’s not really the case.
9. Serve an entire table except one person
There is a curse that affects some unlucky people: they are always the last to be served at the restaurant. Everyone looks at this last person and she ends up saying “go ahead start, it’s going to be cold” with tremolos in her voice. Nobody is asked and the table has already ended when the dish finally arrives.
Tag a friend in the comments, if he doesn’t answer within 30 seconds he will have to invite you to a starred Parisian restaurant every night for a month.