It’s not always easy to do your job well, there are times when you really don’t feel like it, so you drag your feet a little, you pretend to be working. If you think that you sometimes abuse your boss’s good works and that you are paid for nothing, tell yourself that there are beings on earth worse than you. Besides, you are a model employee.
1. Dennis Hawer, the lawyer you won’t want to defend yourself, even for free
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He defended Philip Cheatham, who had been convicted of killing two people and wounding another. But Dennis Hawver didn’t care to defend him and he made a lot of mistakes during the trial. He didn’t know how the death penalty worked, refused public funds to help his client’s defense, told the jury about his client’s previous conviction for manslaughter. In short OSEF the guy. Lucky that Balkany didn’t have him at his trial otherwise he might have gone to prison. Oops he’s already doing it hehe.
2. Thomas Nuttal a guy with a non-existent sense of direction which is a bit of a shame for a botanist explorer
He discovered lots of new plants during his expeditions and even taught at Harvard (not a stupid guy). On the other hand, he often got lost in exploration and his colleagues had to go and find him (too bad). Once he escaped from Native Americans, thinking they were coming to kill him. Actually, it was just a research team. He ran for three days before accidentally returning to camp (fat jester).
3. Joseph Weber, to err is human but it ruined his career as a physicist
He worked on gravitational waves, a subject that fascinates physicists because they could provide information on the origin of the universe. However in 1970, Weber announced that his detectors had found traces of gravitational waves coming directly from the center of the Milky Way. Except that he was completely wrong in his calculations, a bit like you when you solve a math equation.
4. Captain Calamity, a lover of the sea who was not loved by her
His name Stuart Hill (that would have made a great name for a sailor, or a comic book hero). He rose to fame when he had to be rescued while attempting to circumnavigate Britain in a rowboat, a crossing that required a total of seven Coast Guard rescues. A few years later, he was again rescued as he tried to navigate a homemade boat in rough seas. Some people are really looking for attention.
5. The group “The Shaggs”, even worse than O-zone
There are plenty of bands you don’t like and that’s normal, but this one really lacks talent. To tell you the group was formed just because the mother of Austin Wiggin read on the palm of her son that one day her daughters would form a group. Suddenly the father formed the group (while they had no training) and bim it was gone. We let you discover their music. I managed to listen for 15 seconds.
6. William McGonagall, shitty poet and problem man
He is considered one of the worst poets of his time. He also tried acting, but he screwed up Macbeth’s death, like Marion Cotillard screwed up hers in Batman. He played so badly that it enraged the audience and started fights. He even had to lock himself once in the locker room to protect himself from the crowd. He was threatened with a ban on playing in his own city but he always considered himself a great poet. Oh the denial.
7. Pastor Maldonado, a dangerous F1 driver
His career has been marked by a series of defeats, penalties, disqualifications and falls. He tops the list of most penalized racing drivers. In a particularly shocking incident, Maldonado was banned from racing in Monaco after ignoring a yellow flag and hitting a race marshal. It’s almost as shocking as Zidane’s header to Materazzi.
8. Assurancetourix in Asterix when frankly playing the lyre is not that hard
The lyre is a small stringed instrument almost as easy to play as the triangle, but hey, this poor bard is simply devoid of musicality. As a result, he always ends up tied up at the banquet that closes an adventure and he gives us a little pain.
9. God, he created the platypus, clearly an error of animal life and proof of his incompetence
As much as he did amazing things like volcanoes, flowers or zebras, the platypus is just as good… We don’t quite understand where he was coming from and it suddenly doesn’t give a damn about his genius. We would like to ask him to account for this animal, at least to be able to send him back to the store or call customer service but as usual there is none.
One day I sent an e-mail without the attachment, I still blame myself terribly.