Top 8 parties you haven’t been invited to since becoming a parent

At first, you didn’t care about losing what looked like a social life. You had your baby with you, and anyway you were too exhausted to consider leaving your house other than in pilou-pilou pajamas. Then your child grew up, he sleeps through the night, so do you, and you want to start seeing your friends again, those from your “life before”. Except that they don’t really want you to go to their party with your kids slung over your shoulder, it generally pisses them off. And eventually they just stop inviting you.

1. The New Year

No more New Year’s Eve until 6 a.m. screaming the countdown and puking in the toilet in your friends because of the abuse of not fresh champagne. No because now you know you will NEVER find a babysitter available on the evening of December 31st, and that lugging your kids to your buddies’ party is watching them spend the evening running around, finishing the glass bottoms in scred, puking over oysters and having to sleep in a ball on a piece of sofa while you wiggle on Beyoncé. No, the best thing is to stay at home drinking Prosecco when you go to bed at 10:30 p.m.

2. Birthdays

Apart from birthday parties with people who are the same age as your kid, you are no longer invited to birthday parties, those that involve alcohol, loud music and funny conversations. adults. Your friends don’t bother to invite you anymore because they know that either you’re not going to come because you have to watch your kid, or you’re going to cancel at the last moment because he’s got a stomachache. And little by little, they zap you.

3. Weddings

Children at weddings are only tolerated during the ceremony, because they are cute when they are well dressed and they give the rings without breaking their faces, it makes for pretty pictures. After, if they can release during the evening, it is better. There are even newlyweds who expressly ask in their announcement that the children are not present. We certainly understand, but we have to admit that it’s a hassle.

4. Weekends with friends

The ones where you spend the weekend drinking beers and barbecuing around the pool. These weekends are organized without children to supervise, without travel cots to assemble, without bottles to give, without diapers to change, and suddenly you are no longer invited.

5. Small beers on the terrace after work

The best, those that are savored on the terrace when it’s hot but not too hot, when summer arrives, the light is soft and the day’s work is over. These beers, we no longer offer them to you, because they know that you have your kids to pick up from school / nursery / nanny, and that you have more time for that. Well the good news is that it does not prevent you from continuing to drink beers. And then your colleagues are jerks.

6. Last minute restaurants

Those that have not been planned for days or weeks, where you have had time to organize yourself and have your baby looked after. No, last-minute restaurants aren’t for you anymore, because it pisses everyone off that you’re coming home with your kid who’s going to run around and ignore his children’s menu.

7. Football nights

You’re not invited anymore because you ask that we don’t shout too much when there’s a goal because your offspring sleeps next door, you quibble because there’s only pizza to eat and beers to drink and that your kid has to eat vegetables too, and he’s not allowed to watch the screens too much, so hey, finally we turn off the TV and we chat, right? No.

8. Movie nights

Movie nights with your kid at your friends’ house means not being able to watch anything other than a movie that’s not banned for at least 12 years old, which still limits the choices quite a bit. Those who wanted to watch Amityville, they find themselves watching Ratatouille again. You surprise me that you are no longer invited.

Well, well, we’ll have to find a babysitter budget as soon as possible, huh!

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