When you complain about your mom for calling you too often or getting you drunk by demanding you text her every time you get home, think about mythology. These tales of infamous mothers should make you appreciate yours. A little.
If among her children we can already count Phèdre (which we will tell you about a little later in this top) she especially gave birth to the Minotaur. But be careful, it has nothing to do with the fact that she drank and smoked during her pregnancy. At that time, his fellow was Minos the king of Crete. Now it turns out that Poseidon sent him a white bull for Minos to sacrifice. Bad luck, the bull is kind of ultra BG so Minos can’t bring himself to do it (and also because he’s a little vegan). Suddenly Poseidon is SUPER revered and with a snap of his finger, he makes Pasiphaé fall in love with the bull who fucks him in deluxe porn mode and thus gives birth to the Minotaur. Well then it’s true that the little girl is not responsible for much in this dark story, but imagine you are one of her children and everyone is laughing at you at school because your mother had sex with her. a bull is super boring for social integrity.
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaa It all started when she goes with her mate Laïos to consult the Oracle (when we know very well that clairvoyants say bullshit) who tells them that their offspring is going to kill his father and fuck his mother. Not phew as news. Suddenly, the parents are freaked out and abandon the baby by hanging him on a tree, which is not very recommended for a serene education (Françoise Dolto does not approve). And then the story that we all know happens: Oedipus fights with a guy whom he kills then marries the queen of Thebes in full widowhood and fucks her in all the positions of the kama-sutra. Inevitably when he understands the trick, he gouges his eyes out and breaks into exile. Okay, was it really necessary to gouge out your eyes? Okay. It’s mostly to look like me I think.
Of course when we talk about a mythological mother, we quickly land on the case of Medea, known mainly for having slit the throats of her children. Well, it must be said that she had her reasons. And then shit, she was already quite a hit from the start, we could have seen it coming that it would turn sour! When she becomes infatuated with Jason and his family opposes it, she kills her brother (and cuts him into pieces). And then when Jason tej’ for another zoulette, she offers her rival a Jean-Paul Gautier dress which catches fire when she slips on. So why stop on such a good path? To go after her revenge, she stabs the two children she had with Jason. Not nice.
Guardian of the couple’s fertility and of legitimate marriage, Hera has no luck. She goes out with a fat fucker named Zeus who spends his life looking elsewhere. She makes him a few children and then to make fun of Zeus (who had the nerve to conceive Athena on her own) she decides to conceive Hephaestus on her own, just to show him that she doesn’t need him and that she can manage her in vitro fertilization like a grown-up. And this kind of genetic manipulation I find it really weird and not acceptable from a bioethical point of view.
We always speak of Phèdre as a great tragedian at the mercy of the wrath of the Gods. But in the meantime, excuse me a bit, but the girl still wants to fuck her stepson. Certainly it is not his son but morally it is not phew. It’s the Woody Allen of Antiquity (even if in this case she didn’t marry her son) except that in addition she let him be killed by Neptune. Well… at the same time her mother had orgy with a bull so she wasn’t leaving with all the cards in hand.
In itself there is not much to reproach Demeter who was a mother all that is more suitable. On the other hand, we do not forgive her but then NOT AT ALL for having named her second child Ploutos, which is really a shitty first name which justifies putting her in the same rank as rotten mothers like Medea.
Goddess of discord, we could imagine that with her we were going to shit a lot of hats. And for good reason, she gives birth to a bunch of kids who all happen to be assholes as much as each other and spread misery on the world: Ponos (Pain), Léthé (Oblivion), Limos (Hunger ), Phonoi (Murder), Makhai (Combat), Dysnomia (Anarchy), Até (Disaster), Algea (Pain), Hysminai (Melee), Androktasiai (Killing), Neikea (quarrels) , Amphillogiai (Disputes) and Pseudologoi (Lies). In short, the girl has spawned unbearable kids so we don’t congratulate her on her job as a mother. Shit I mean.