Top 30 tweets that made us laugh this week #456

Hey guys, it’s time for the top tweets of the week; this famous meeting that allows you to start the week with the desire to stroll down the avenues saying hello to anyone. We are obviously going to talk about current events with jokes about influencer scams and the death of the queen, but we also leave room for the usual complaints about the little hassles of everyday life. I’ll let you read all this, I have to go measure the Richter scale and fry some elbow grease.

MONDAY SEPTEMBER 12

Table of Contents

1. We hope she doesn’t die hand on heart

2. Wealth is palpable

3. The standards are very low

Condemned chimneys in the apartments are the equivalent of the ring in the ear on the guys, no my sister concentrate everything else is unsanitary

— charlotte (@brocolisuspect) September 12, 2022

4. Magali’s excuse is valid

No welcome salad this afternoon due to tendonitis

—Buffalo Grill (@BuffaloGrill) September 12, 2022

5. Always better than falling hair

TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 13

6. What will he criticize next, the practical reason??

But Kant is sick he woke up one morning he said to himself hey I’m going to criticize pure reason

— *MAAARIE* hitting your TL (@marie_en_y) September 13, 2022

7. Perfect for skiing

8. “Wow didiou Côme, ouère didiou go?”

9. It has to exist

Always surprised that no guy has released a book “Mansplaining Explained to Women”.

— Fanny Ruwet (@FannyRuwet) September 13, 2022

10. The classic joke that always works

I picked up a hitchhiker earlier, he told me jokingly that at any time it could be a serial killer and that I didn’t know anything about it. I replied that statistically the chances of two serial killers being in the same car are almost 0%.

— Sai (@sailevrai) September 13, 2022

WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 14

12. It’s really a scandal, we want our green basket!

Att but when you buy cheap pickles you don’t have the little green pickle elevator there you have to plunge your hand into the jar like a victim

— hallway asshole (@ascendantbutch) September 14, 2022

13. It must be so weird to be a porn actor, your boss has to tell you things like “I want this erection on my desk for 5 p.m.”

being a porn actor is crazy your boss be like “have that erection on my desk by 5 o’clock”

— big boy online (@idonotbleed) September 14, 2022

14. We all want to write the jokes at Monoprix

15. I took my tickets for the Stade de France

The coffin of Elizabeth II will be in Dover on 09/14, in Calais on the 15th, Châlons-en-Champagne on the 17th, Vesoul on the 18th, at the Zénith de Limoges on the 22nd and in Montélimar on the 23rd. will have to wait until the end of the month.

— Leon Zitroll (@leonzitroll) September 14, 2022

16. The teachers always said “why are you sleeping in my class”, man it’s 8 am

teachers used to say “why you sleeping in my class?” like bro it’s 8am

– Carry ? (@ItsRetrop) September 14, 2022

17. They really aren’t afraid of anything.

the people who participate in amphitheater terrify me I have to be wary of someone who takes the risk of asking a shitty question in front of 200 people

— a slut for a peaceful life (@evakugisaki) September 14, 2022

18. And if they live in Versailles, what are they told?

19. Creepy But True

“Madam, are we going to talk about the queen?”
Me for the joke: “No, it’s still too fresh, I’m sensitive”
A student: “I will not use expenses to talk about the queen myself”
?

— RATsiatitude? | Prince Charles hate account (@Asiatitude) September 14, 2022

THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 15

20. “Are you gay!”

We are not born gay, it is Karine Lemarchand who leans over your crib and decides who is.

— LoLo’s Bizarre boarding school (@tnerual_) September 15, 2022

21. Apparently she has radar…

22. Fashion Nova has a selection of clothes to wear to work. They want me fired I think.

FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 16

23. I wonder if he was embarrassed or didn’t even see the problem

vkxldjdhdhdkd the giggles I’m on a phone call to work to answer a candidate, I ask him to spell his name, he says to me:

A from Germany
P of whore

he told me p of whore ?????? like on the phone with a rh?????

— Millionaire in dinars (@Djamilaay) September 16, 2022

24. We figured out their secret

guys they fall asleep too quickly it shows they are stunned by the weight of their lies.

– ??????? ? (@segoxcx) September 16, 2022

25. When the restaurant brings bread for the table

SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 17

26. We should have known this before

*me playing music*
My mother:
“Who is that again?”
-Lomepal
– Ah it reminds me of Charlie and the chocolate factory
– Eh?
– Well if with the little dances there, the lomepal lomepal »
??????????

— ?????? ? (@Ortthus) September 17, 2022

27. She was honest from the start…

the neighbor who asks us if we can keep her “two little monsters of 6 and 8 years old??” tonight, we accept without problem?
She actually left us a GOBLIN and a fucking GHOUL they already ate the dog and cursed the family over 8 generations I feel too stupid

— Satan Giscard d’Estaing from the Comédie-Française (@SATANgiscard) September 17, 2022

28. At your age, it’s time to learn how to choose your own photos.

there are friends who help you choose a photo and then comment on it as if they had never seen it

—Belcentro (@Belcentro1) September 17, 2022

29. The beginning of a riddle

There’s a friend of my mother’s once he brought a persimmon cake to a meal and like I think about it regularly it’s too funny??? Persimmon cake ???? Stuck in the ass ????

— Louise Attac but she also protected (@EliDuSwag) September 17, 2022

SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 18

30. Another stray bullet for Kev Adams

I don’t understand this controversy around the little mermaid. We had Aladdin interpreted by Kev Adams, whereas in the original story, Aladdin is not so stupid.

— The farts of Lady Auclesse (@Proutantique) September 18, 2022

31. And especially flames!

fancy an episode of Pimp My Car but with the Queen’s coffin so she has small TVs in the back and 4600W dual stereo amps

– STREAM DAVRIL (@PierreBellemere) September 17, 2022

32. He even wore UGGs

I’m not saying it cooled off, I’m just saying I just ran into a mosquito with a turtleneck

— Nini_MacBright (@Nini_MacBright) September 18, 2022

Now that it’s over, it’s time to get back to your gloomy little lives… Don’t cry, the top tweets are back next Monday!