Top 30+ tweets that made us laugh this week #435

Me:
-And I will take a phone number please to notify you as soon as we receive the order
He begins to rummage through his laptop, a bit lost.
– Uh .. any number?
-Well no… yours
– Oh yes I was thinking too

x

It was curious, that

— The bookseller is hiding (@librairesecache) April 16, 2022

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Dads love saying, “I can see 3 eggs from where I’m standing that you haven’t found yet.”

—Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 17, 2022

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today I’m remembering middle school when I went to a friend’s house & saw a portrait of a dude on the wall and was like “hey is that your grandpa?” and she was like “um that’s Jesus”

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) April 17, 2022

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My boyfriend plays GTA he rides a bike in the game, I think he voted Jadot??

— morcade (@morcadd) April 18, 2022

I overhear a client putting away the books. I look at her, surprised. She sees me and says “it relaxes me. Can I come back to clean up from time to time?”

— The angry bookseller (@FacheeLa) April 19, 2022

the teachers on ytb who say “this video does not replace the course” a si si si cousin I’m there for a reason

— s@m (@puteaDio) April 18, 2022

Partials anyway it’s a commercial party

— winded pug (@thatsawouaf) April 19, 2022

There are phrases that make you immediately stop what you were doing previously and “Daddy come see where I managed to climb!” is one of them.

— Totomathon (@totomathon) April 19, 2022

If you say FN, and the person opposite answers “no it’s RN”, this person votes Le Pen.

— Mr. The Snorer (@hache_s_eneuh2) April 19, 2022

I’m too young I haven’t known cohabitation so I imagine Mélenchon next to Macron all the time and who whispers in his ear every two minutes “You’re not going to do anything, I’m the 1st minister”.

— Naughty Unionist (@MarxFanAccount) April 20, 2022

Can Léa Salamé get up quickly and go and pull Macron’s hair so that at least this debate serves to bring a real answer to the French

— Bismatoj (@bismatoj) April 20, 2022

Belgians who comment on French political debates always make me laugh, here we don’t even know if their country is led by a king, a president or a village chief

– Jx????? || the legendary locksé (@LifeOfJeez) April 20, 2022

and suddenly there are some you arrive at the BU you work directly like you don’t start with a break???

— Paul1 (@Paul1frsn) April 20, 2022

Antidepressants be like: you can want to live or to fuck, but never both.

— Fanny Ruwet (@FannyRuwet) April 20, 2022

Dream job: the host on the podcast who is there to react to the other host who actually did research

— Erica Henderson (@EricaFails) April 21, 2022

“Are you up for the part-time?” » bro i am reading the pdf of the lesson on a cracked laptop in front of the lecture hall 17 min from the exam, do i look like i’m hot

— Hater (@YannisZimm) April 22, 2022

8 year old me would hear a song and be like hmmn ok well let’s hear the Chipmunk version

—? (@ihythreat) April 22, 2022

you hate him but seeing another name at 8 p.m. on france 2 would kill you?

—Jade (@jadedwind) April 24, 2022

I naively accompanied my grandfather to vote. In his small village where MLP has been far ahead for years.
He took off his hat saying “Ladies and gentlemen fachos I salute you”

?

— Madame de Crève (@mondesreels) April 24, 2022

They should give us little things to eat at the exit of the polling station like when we donate our blood because there my head is spinning

— Jean-Moundir (@supermegadriven) April 24, 2022