Top 26 letters of the alphabet, ranked from best to worst

Hello friends and lovers of letters, you have been waiting for it for a long time and you even wondered why it took Topito more than fifteen years of existence to classify something as elementary as the letters of the alphabet. I can’t give you this answer, let’s say that we were perhaps too busy classifying the best films without Tom Cruise or the photos of our somewhat special editor colleague Pierre Galouise’s cat. Without further ado, let’s classify the letters of the alphabet together.


A letter that can define the shape of T-shirts (hence the name) as well as a comforting hot drink (tea, in case you were looking for a connection with coffee) and it is also the first letter of surname first name; for all these good reasons it therefore comes first.

Its ancestral meaning: In ancient Egypt the symbol T referred to greatness, good smell and highly developed sexual faculties. She could occasionally relate to people who made quiches well, so only good things.


The O symbolizes an infinite loop, that’s why we could have used it as a symbol to represent this concept, but we preferred to use a kind of inverted 8 worn out by tired tattoo artists. Anyway the O is super stylish as a letter because it is also a blood type of refined people.

An example in a sentence: Roosevelt drinks a choco at the Zoo. See how I subtly used the repetition of the letter but also of the phonetic sound O.


This letter is so stylish that people use it to say nothing “there’s R brother” means “there’s nothing”. Not to mention the fact that pronounced in Spanish this letter becomes absolutely magical orally, rolling your R should be a fashion.

Its biological significance: In biology the R stands for the amino acid arginine and unless you’re a fat quiche in biology you probably know it’s the coolest amino acid you can find in nature, more or less the Elvis Presley of the kind.


The S is the S, a letter that now means “blood”, and blood is stylish since we need it to live, like water (O) and air (R) , hence the presence of these letters very high in the ranking. Notice the shape of the letter, devilishly captivating with its dizzying curves. A letter that excites me a lot.

The astrological sign of this letter: Sagittarius is the only one I found that started with that letter. I don’t know if that’s a good sign though since I don’t believe in that bullshit.

Top 26 letters of the alphabet ranked from best to

Photo credits: Topito


My colleague Quentin le Dé specifically asked me to put this letter in the top five of the ranking, not necessarily because it’s the first letter of his first name but because Q in speaking sounds like “ass” and that makes him laugh a lot. He’s going through a bad patch right now, I didn’t have the heart to take that pleasure away from him.

A relative pronoun that begins with this letter: ” What “. Clearly the sexiest relative pronoun of the last ten years, even if “who” almost passed it in 2019.


“The G is a letter that we do not necessarily expect in fifth place in the classification of the letters of the alphabet” said Chateaubriand. But coming from a guy called François-René, you had to expect him to be bad-willed and in a shitty mood all the time.

A scholarly sentence where we have fun with phonetics: The jet arrived when I managed by gesturing generously near his G-spot. (Sorry)


Georges Perec wrote a whole book without the letter E called “La disappearance”, which is stupid considering that between his family name and his first name the letter was already on the cover four times, so it was a failed bet even before opening the book and it is to restore the image of the E that I decide to put it in 7th place.

An associated linguistic curiosity: The E is the only letter in common in the name of the four seasons and it is the most frequently used letter in our beautiful language.


One word, one reason why this letter is so well placed: Bill du Bigdil.

A daily use in the SMS of a somewhat silly average couple: ” How are you baby ? »

Top 26 letters of the alphabet ranked from best to

Photo credits: Topito


“I say M, gnagnagnana” said the singer M (sorry I never remembered the lyrics afterwards). Be that as it may, he wasn’t just saying bullshit, because the letter M shares this curiosity of being associated with a phonetic word like R, O, T or even L. It’s up to you to find the words, it’s a very funny game.

Another letter not to be confused with: P. Mixing up the M and the P could result in sentences as incomprehensible and sordid as the following: “Papan, do you want to play a motho by Raypomd Barre?” »


“V for Vendetta” perhaps, but for my worker uncle it’s above all “V for Veranda” and he always really liked this letter. V was also the name of a pretty cool series and the shape of a garment collar, which proves that it is a versatile, real and variable letter. Only V-words.

An unusual culinary use: To cook V-shaped sausages, fold your sausages into a V before cooking them. Yeah I won’t hide from you that it’s not my best recipe, but it surprises the guests.


The H also represents the hour, the sign of a hospital, a helicopter landing strip and hashish, it is for this last point that it is the favorite letter of zadists and babies from Montpelier. A lackluster image that sticks to the skin of this letter which nevertheless has many other things to prove.

An original first name that begins with H: Hannibal, Hortense or Hiéronique, a variant of Viéronique, itself a variant of Véronique.


The K has become over time a way of talking about kilos in the middle of the sale of drugs but also a way of talking about salary in the middle of people who earn a lot of money in a more legal way (without being more honorable way), like “Jean-Denis makes 60K every six months, this motherfucker”.

An author who likes big K: Franz Kafka has two Ks in his last name, which is quite classy. However, he had the annoying habit of scratching his crotch in the middle of social dinners, so class-wise he wasn’t the best.


The X can just as well lend itself to the unknown with the principle of “born under X” but also in the middle of porn with the controlled name of “X films”. It’s a letter that represents the mystery and the forbidden, like my neighbor’s garden in which we weren’t allowed to step foot when we were kids even when our soccer ball fell there.

A super stylish drug that starts and ends with an X: Xanax, which has the particularity of having two A (first letter of the alphabet) and two X (last letter of the alphabet if Y and Z had not existed).


We could talk about generation Y and say that it’s not far from being the best of all (people who were born between 1980 and 1995) but no, the Y is not only that, it also represents the crossroads des chemins, the translated title of the Britney Spears film “Crossroads”.

The name of a town with a Y in it: Y. Yeah, there’s a town in the Somme called “Y”. It is also the town in France with the shortest name. Its inhabitants are the Ypsilonians, which is on the other hand super long and boring to write.


Bon bah voilà, 15th place, an average place for an average letter. I don’t have much else to say, I’ve always been a little suspicious of the F for my part, it looks like an E that hides something.

Something you can definitely replace it with: PH. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but “ph” is phonetically equivalent to “f”, which is why we don’t write “phonetics” or “Filippe”.


Except in the middle of techno parties where people love this letter so much that it is not uncommon to hear them shouting at the doors of despair “damn man you don’t have the D?? » the rest of the population finds that it is a bit overpriced.

The name of a former lover with whom I spent a torrid night: Didier. Wherever you are, this cry from the heart is for you.


Except in the middle of techno parties where people love this letter so much that it is not uncommon to hear them shout at the door of despair “damn man you don’t have C?? » the rest of the population finds that it is a bit overpriced. Yeah, I didn’t mess with the definition.

Its equivalent in Roman numerals: The Romans weren’t necessarily the baddest at conquering the world, but when it came to counting, it was really tough. C meant 100 for them, luckily we recovered the Arabic numerals.


Unless you measure a 45° angle, the L is of little use. I’m not saying that we could get rid of it like that overnight without seeing the difference, but it’s not far.

A known character with an L: L is the main antagonist of the Death Note manga series. Few people know it but his real name is Lionel. Hence the choice of the letter.


P is the first letter of the word rotten and of the city of Paris. Do I need to go further in my useless demonstration? No.

A sound with this letter: Fart.


Here we are at the 20th point, which means that there are only the letters that stink a little of the mouth. That’s why the Z is here, its only use is to score points in Scrabble and it’s also the first letter of a so-called hero who rides a horse and fights against Sergeant Garcia (Emile Zola).

A reason to hate the Z: It’s the first letter of Eric Zemmour’s last name, as much to tell you that he hurt this letter.


The U symbolizes both U-turns and a chain of supermarkets, that’s absolutely all there is to say about this letter. It’s sad but here, I am not responsible.

A body part that wouldn’t exist without the U: The urethra. A place in which you should not push anything.


Asshole, Nicolas Sarkozy, No, No, Tennis, Emmanuel Macron, coriander… Only words that cause rage and in which the letter N is found. Coincidence? Unlikely.

Something you can’t do with an N: Re-inflate a car tire, don’t even try.


An upside-down M, which means that the person who invented it really had no idea, just like me to finish this top.

A place at the height of this all-out letter: WC. When a letter is the first that we use to write the place where we shit we know that it is not a letter of phew.


If we say that the J is the S it is probably to get rid once and for all of this letter which is useless even if globally all the words would no longer mean anything.

A great movie that starts with J: The Jaguar, with Jean Reno and Patrick Bruel at the top of his game.


The trick is a straight line, not even an effort of original form to try to get out of this interstellar uselessness. The I is shit and always has been.

Something you can do with an I: Pretty much anything you can do with a stick, like fight a bear or walk through the forest. Activities not phew.


All the first names that start with A are assholes’ names: Augustin, Arthur, Alban… Only bastards. Normal, they are used to their first name coming out first as soon as it is drawn in alphabetical order, enough to hate this letter.

Its ancestral meaning: In Sumerian the letter A symbolized both hot piss and shit. But the translators think it could also just mean “hot shit”, a disease that has disappeared but is scary.

I apologize for this top.

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