Everyone loves board game evenings with family or friends (except two or three people who don’t like to play because they don’t have a soul), but it can sometimes be boring. Often even. It’s not really the fault of the games, but rather of what is around. People, yes. It’s the people’s fault. Good and also a bit of games anyway. I have made a short list for you, it will be easier.
1. The guy who takes three hours to explain the rules
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And who explains them very badly. After in real life what are these games where you have to have bac +10 to capture the rules?
2. The one who says “don’t worry, we’re taking a trip for nothing, you’ll understand”
Apparently you’re more stupid than he thought since even after this trick for nothing, you didn’t understand anything. You would have rather played Uno than this imbitable game.
3. Board game games that last about 5 hours
Literally, huh, it’s not just a way of speaking. Even a Paris-Marseille train is not as long.
4. The fact that you never win anything because there is always a guy who is way too into games
Then you can forgive him because for him board games are his life, while you do other things, like having a job and a romantic partner.
5. When you’re a villager for the 5th time in a row at the werewolf
Great, thanks for inviting me. And if not, when do I have fun?
6. When you have to put everything away and put the hundreds of small parts in the right compartments
Did we come to play or to tidy up in fact?
7. The one who is too thorough to win, who is of course in very bad faith
To believe that if she does not win she will die.
8. People who sulk for 3 days because they lost
Guys, in the word “game” there is “game”.
9. When your friend on the right wants to play Monopoly
Why do you have a friend on the right already? Ah yes, he’s your best friend’s boyfriend, you have to deal with him every weekend.
10. People who always want to play tarot at any time of the day or night
Do you know that other games have been invented since?
11. The loser who wants to team up with you because he likes you but you want to win
Sorry, but after a while, you have to be a little pragmatic: it’s not by teaming up with suckers that you’re going to get anywhere. Charity will be for later.
12. The fact that at Uno everyone arrives with their own rules and that no one ever agrees
“But yes, you can put 3 +4 in a row, it’s known”, “Shit, on the other hand when you put a 0 you exchange your game with your neighbor! », « Not the right to end up with a change of meaning, however, it’s not me, it’s the rules ».
Go die! And go learn the real rules of Uno by the way.
13. People who shame you when you make a bad move
The “but are you dumb or what? » or “I wouldn’t have done that”you keep them preciously and you fuck them in the orifice of your choice.
14. People who offer you to play “with someone” to better understand as if you were 5 years old
You also want to give me a bottle and squirt some talcum powder on my ass while we’re at it?
15. People who categorically refuse beers at the table so as not to risk damaging the game
Ah okay, so that means that in addition to playing super complex stuff, we won’t even be able to drink?
16. The drunk guy who realizes in the 3rd round of Time’s Up that he had to remember the names from the start of the game
You want to smack him, but in the meantime you have to mime Cleopatra to him in front of his fried whiting eyes who don’t understand anything.
17. When your friend spills his beer on your set in Catania
Well ok maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to ban beers at the table, I didn’t say anything.
18. This lame friend at kems who never sees your sign or who forgets it from game to game
Three hours of scratching your elbow like a fool for nothing.
19. Whoever brings back a new game but must first study the rulebook for 2 hours before you can play it
What’s the next step? Are we going to read the washing machine instructions?
20. The one who tells you “you’ll see after 5-6 games we understand the strategic aspect of the game”
But you didn’t sign up to play 5-6 games, in fact, you want to go home one day.
21. Those who tell themselves from the start of the game their role in the werewolf and who fuck the whole game
In addition to those who speak and open their eyes at night. Clearly deserves first degree murder.
22. When you manage to get 4 players together for a game that is played with at least 4 players and one of the players says he doesn’t want to play
So if my man, you are going to put your ass on this chair and have fun LIKE EVERYONE OK?
23. The one who forgets half the rules from one week to the next and to whom everything has to be re-explained when it’s the 100th time we’ve played it
And who tells you in the middle of the game “Ah but we have the right to do that? » AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
24. The neighbors across the street who party, see you and judge you
Because it’s true that you seem to be bored like that, sitting around a table on a Saturday evening.
25. Your toddler who chokes while swallowing a super important token from the game and ruins your evening
Why do kids ruin everything they come near?