They had the grace of a barrel for nine months. They put the worst statuses on Facebook. We tortured them for hours to come into the world, and yet, our mothers are always very caring. But above all, a child is ungrateful. After giving them stretch marks and a flabby stomach, here is a top that borders on politeness. We’re really rotten. We’ll make it up to you by giving a Mother’s Day gift.

Your mother is so fat that to see her completely, you have to take three steps back

Your mother is so fat it takes two pokeflutes to wake her up

Your mother is so fat that there is a time difference between her two buttocks

Your mother is so stingy that when she vomits, she uses her teeth to keep the pieces

Your mother is so ugly that your father is able to take her to work to avoid kissing her goodbye.

Your mother is so old that when she farts, she makes dust

Your mother is so dry that her crabs never go around without their personal water bottle

Your mother is so fat that she got the role of the big rolling stone in the casting of Indiana Jones

Your mother is so fat she was baptized at sea

Your mother is so poor that pigeons throw bread at her

Your mother is so ugly that when she goes to the bank they cut the cameras

Your mother is so fat that when she wears high heels, she finds oil!

Your mother is so small that her head stinks from her feet

Your mother is so awake that she makes powdered milk

Your mother has such bad breath that it looks like her anus is behind her teeth.

If you see a boat floating on the water, your mother is not on board.

Your mother is so fat that when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides

Your mother is so fat that to photograph her you need a satellite

Your mother is so fat that when she eats peanuts, she shits Snickers

Your mother is so fat that when she weighs herself, it’s her phone number that appears!

If women are flowers, you should change your mother’s water

Your mother is so stupid that when your father proposed to her she said yes

Your father is so stingy that when we ask him for 5 euros she says “What 4 euros? What are you going to do with 3 euros? I don’t have 2 euros on me, here take 1 euro and share with your nine brothers and sisters and give change”

Your father is so stupid that when he goes to the cinema, he brings his remote control

Your father is so fat that at a restaurant he reads the menu and says “OK” to the waiter

Your mother is so fat that when she was at school everyone sat next to her

Editor’s note, this top was completed by your wonderful contributions. THANKS. And above all, thank you to all our mothers. And to our dads (we will also think about gifts for dads). Yes because in fact jokes based on “your mother is so…” can obviously be adapted with your father. We are modern.

By Jane Austen

Jane Austen is a seasoned journalist with a passion for uncovering stories that resonate with readers worldwide. With a keen eye for detail and a commitment to journalistic integrity, Ganesan has contributed to the media landscape for over a decade, covering a diverse range of topics including politics, technology, culture, and human interest stories.