Childhood rhymes with carelessness and ignorance, it’s obviously not for nothing since at this age we believe a lot of things that turn out to be false and that we sometimes discover it very late. Well that also rhymes with prominence and royalty so don’t think I invented a concept of meaning through rhyme. Anyway, you’ve been asked on the networks what completely fake stuff you believed in as children and there were a few nuggets that I share with you here.
1. Mylène’s beliefs: That you could see fish while crossing the Channel Tunnel
Table of Contents
Topito’s review: Technically we cross the sea well so it’s not a completely stupid idea, except that if the tunnel had been made with glass it would have been a bit less solid as fuck.
2. Tim’s beliefs: That we would have flying cars after the year 2000
Topito’s review: Well, for some readers the year 2000 is their date of birth, but for those who are the same age as me, what I wish you, the year 2000 was synonymous with the future and sick flying cars. That we were naive.
3. Fred’s beliefs: That the actors/actresses were actually in love in the movies
Topito’s review: Must say that the more the actors play the more we tend to be fooled by their acting, but still have to be a little teubé to believe that it’s true.
4. Emma’s beliefs: That if we swallowed a seed, a fruit tree would grow in our belly
Topito’s review: Personally it’s because of an episode of Rugrats that I believed that for a long time, then one day my father said to me “but you’re completely stupid to believe that” and suddenly I stopped believing it, fortunately he was there for me say, I was 25 anyway.
5. Les coryances d’Alain: That women lost their bones when giving birth
Topito’s review: There are a few expressions or turns of phrase that can be misleading when spoken and I must admit that I had never thought of this one like that. Can you imagine if they really lost their bones? Nobody wants kids.
6. Elise’s beliefs: That if we dug very deep, we would get to the other side of the earth
Topito’s review: Yes well, in theory it’s not completely wrong, it’s just that we’re going to die on the way because of the heat but here we are, we’re not necessarily smart when we’re a kid.
7. The beliefs of Aymeric Lompret: That the guidance counselor was a supreme being
Topito’s review: It’s sad but we all more or less believed that at some point in our lives, except that in fact we didn’t. But like really no.
8. Mashiro’s beliefs: That the moon followed us when we were in the car
Topito’s review: Yeah because she had the annoying tendency to always keep the same size even if we drove for a long time, which can give the impression that she was following us. But no, it was wrong don’t worry.
9. Frankly’s beliefs: That Zelda was the main character’s name
Topito’s review: And at the same time there was a logic to believe in it since the name Zelda was in the title of each game without ever mentioning Link. Years of believing this lie.
10. Michel’s beliefs: That adults were wise and caring people who should be listened to
Topito’s review: Whereas now that we’re adults we know that’s a huge bullshit and that most of the time they were just drunk at family gatherings.
11. Doriane’s beliefs: That swimming pool water would change color if we pissed in it
Topito’s review: Everyone was entitled to this one and I can tell you that fortunately it was bullshit given the number of swimming pools where I pissed like a big disgust. Again last week at the Olympic swimming pool say-so.
12. Gabrielle’s beliefs: That waterside was a super important job
Topito’s review: Ok, I see where you are coming from with the “prohibited except local residents” signs, which would effectively mean that people who do this job have private access like firefighters. But no. In fact, find out.
13. Paul’s beliefs: That the sun sank into the sea during a sunset
Topito’s review: It’s poetic, it’s naively beautiful, childish, but it’s also very stupid. What do we teach kids at school so that they don’t understand that the sun is not at the same level as the surface of the Earth?
14. Dedelajoie’s beliefs: That drugstores were the places where drugs were found
Topito’s review: Must say that the words are more than close, and inevitably it can seem weird when in addition we learn that we find everything and anything in a drugstore. Funny concept these stores.
15. Mario’s Beliefs: That Actors Really Did Die in Movies
Topito’s review: We were all able to think that, then afterwards we saw the actors in another film and it was a misunderstanding. It would be super violent if that were the case anyway.
16. The beliefs of Hercule Poivrot: That people really sang live on the radio
Topito’s review: It’s beautiful the soul of a child, it can really believe in all the bullshit that is thrown at it, but there you have to face the facts that it would be really chaotic as an organization.
17. Galactiff Beliefs: That Adults Were Born Adults
Topito’s review: When you’re a kid you don’t really have the notion of the action of aging since all the people you know have only aged a little since our arrival, which may explain this phenomenon. Do not hesitate to call me if you want other psychological explanations.
18. The beliefs of Thomas VDB: That the Tsé-Tsé fly there was only one and that you really had to have bad luck to fall on it
Topito’s review: The answer comes from Thomas VDB, someone we love very much, and when you think about it, it wasn’t a stupid mistake.
19. 4th Floor Beliefs: That French Fries Were Salted to Cool Them
Topito’s review: Technically it’s not really wrong since the salt can stop the cooking, but to say that we put it to cool them, it smells like crap.
20. Laura’s beliefs: That when you had ants on your feet there really were ants
Topito’s review: Another expression that we don’t understand kid, imagine a little one who would like to cut his foot because he really thinks he has ants in it, you have to stop talking nonsense.