Everyone remembers middle school and the different types of middle schoolers, all more or less dumb. What no one told you about college is that the CDI is the only haven of peace where you can chill as much as possible while enjoying the heating and comfortable seats. The problem is that the CDI is guarded by the documentalist who loves to yell at you as soon as you walk a little too hard. Almost all of us have already been excluded from the CDI and you were asked on Facebook for your worst reasons for exclusion, they are often totally absurd.
Category “The CDI lady is mean to me”
1. I turned the pages making too much noise
Anyway for the head of the CDI, even the sound of breathing was annoying.
2. I was doing math
“We read hereiii! We don’t do math! The next one who pulls out a calculator will be expelled”. I was fired from the CDI. They are really sectarian documentalists…
3. I laughed too hard while reading a Garfield comic.
4. Fired because I was working with my books
It was forbidden, you had to work with CDI books only. “If you have your own books, just stay at home”
5. I stayed up too long to choose a book.
It’s true that it’s abuse, do you realize the world you disturb by standing in front of a shelf?
Category “It’s really bad luck”
6. I broke the placo wall
At boarding school, I was fired from the CDI in the evening because our group was heckling and one of the students ended up being thrown against the wall… His schoolbag broke the Placo from the wall and there was a big hole in the wall.
7. I broke a computer with my finger
I wanted to show something on the computer to the group I was working with. The problem is, I pressed my finger too hard on the screen (probably too enthusiastically) and the computer’s CRT fell behind the desk.
8. The Good Joke
I got fired from the CDI because in fact I thought it was a CDD at the start. A real misunderstanding!
Category “You’re abusing but in reality it’s funny”
9. I was fired for criticizing the virginity of the Virgin in a Catholic college.
Virgin Mary, Virgin Mary, I believe it means…
10. I used a slice of raw ham as a bookmark
And then you’re surprised when people say you’re weird…
11. An Unfortunate Accident
We had inadvertently unpinned and accidentally pressed the extinguisher.
12. I said “shh” to the lady in the cdi because she spoke too loudly
So enjoyable. Surely it was worth getting kicked out.
Category “You must clearly lock yourself in”
13. I launched a dictionary on a student
We fought with dictionaries in the middle of the CDI.
14. I changed the wallpapers of all the computers because why always put live kittens when you can put dead ones?…
I am very uncomfortable reading this confession.
15. We had released a hen in the CDI in the last days of senior year
I hope the hen and the librarian survived.
16. I was expelled for stealing the complete Tintin collection
They weren’t within 24 pounds.
(Spoiler: Well yes in fact)
Category “Childhood memories of the Topito team”
17. The pearls of the Video pole
In high school I sold USB sticks with pirated games that didn’t need to be installed (Quake Arena or Unreal Tournament for the nerds). Once or twice a week we organized LANs at the CDI, before being spotted and banned from the CDI for a month.
18. The pearls of the Social pole
I was fired from the CDI because I was looking at anus jewelry on google. I just wanted to prove to my friends that it really existed.
19. The pearls of the Brand Content pole
One day, I put a USB key in a PC of the CDI, it turns off and impossible to turn it on again. So I change my PC, insert the key, it turns off. So I change PC, ditto.
It was in the evening when I got home, when I put my key in the PC at home and it turned off, that I realized that I had erased drive 0 from the hard disk of 3 CDI PC thanks to a small virus.
20. The pearls of the Brand Content division, second anecdote
I took the locks from the books and stashed them in my friends’ bags so that it rang at the entrance gate.