Top 20 of Jason Brokers’ best punchlines

So to get your tickets for his show, it’s happening right here, and if you’re not totally convinced yet here are some of his best jokes that you can find on the internet!

1. I’ve been married for 2 years, and it’s ok, I like him, it’s ok.

2. I’ll tell you, if it weren’t for the sexual aspect of marriage, I would have married a friend of mine.

3. There is a gentleman who was very sick, and he took placebos for almost a year, and believe it or not, he is no longer sick. He is dead.

4. I did 3 years of business school, at 9000€ a year. Times 3, that’s 27,000. Now I know how to count.

5. Business schools are people who are strong enough. It’s people who come to see you and tell you: “You’re going to give us €27,000, and we’re going to show you how to make money”. And you, you give them €27,000, and you go: “Oh damn, they’re strong!”

6. I’m 31 and I’m not the kind of guy my age who says, “I wish I was 20.” I don’t wanna be 20, what do you want me to do with hope and hair?

8. Are there any pedophiles in the room tonight? I like to ask the question by surprise, because I know that one day I will unmask one, that’s for sure!

9. Honestly, I’m not afraid of pedophiles…because I’m 31. So unless he’s a cougar pedophile, it’s fine!

10. Do you think there is Covid at Daesh? Do you think they have barrier gestures? “No, but clean the kalash before giving it to me! Obviously I want to die, but not of that after all!”

11. Kids, when they like something, they want to do it over and over again. My niece, in one weekend, she watched Frozen 7 times. What the fuck did you not understand? It’s all in the title, there’s snow, there’s queen, move on!


13. I don’t understand people who smoke cigarettes. In cigarettes, there is tar. You know what else has tar in it? Roads ! There are things that humans shouldn’t consume, like, I don’t know, for example… tar!

14. You have women, when they get pregnant, they take up to 25kg. And their only excuse is to say: “Yeah but I’m pregnant”. So ladies, 25kg is the weight of an 8 year old child!

15. You have women who get pregnant, and who don’t want to know the sex of the baby to keep the surprise. What a surprise ? It’s either a girl or a boy, you can’t say, “Oh great my God, it’s a scooter!”

16. I can’t protest. Me, if I manifest, it’s not me who decides why, it’s BFM TV!

17. The most violent things I saw during the yellow vests came from the CRS. The CRS, the police, I saw what they did, it was violent. And I know not all cops are like that, but damn it feels good to mix things up!

18. A few days ago, I was picked up by a gay man. I knew he was gay, because he was a man, and he flirted with me, there are clues.

19. Concerning the migrant crisis, there are people in France who are not happy, who don’t want them, they tell them: “We don’t want you here, leave!” Look, these are people who have fled death, do you think they give a fuck about not being welcome?

20. Depression, it settles in the gap between what you want, and what you have. I have a friend, her name is Gwendoline, she is 39 years old. And what she wants is a husband and 4 children, who love her. That’s what she wants. What she has is a cat. Start already by wanting a second cat, after the husband… Already start by wanting your cat to love you!

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