Top 20 Big Bullshit Our Parents Taught Us, Great Education

To write this top it’s not complicated I personally had to go back to my own childhood and remember all the canards that my parents made me swallow, this horrible demon moved by the desire to harm me by hitting me of the worst lies from a very young age. Fortunately, I’m not the only one. Our parents told us a lot of myths, and that’s ugly.

1. Consuming too much olive oil turns the skin green

All this to stop dipping our whole baguette in a bowl of olive oil. LYING !

2. Wait three hours after eating to be able to bathe

Because otherwise you expose yourself to serious risks of drowning… Later, you realized by chance after eating 2 kilos of mussels that you were in the water and even that you had no feet and that you were not dead. In fact, you obviously don’t risk drowning but just having a little cramp. Thank you bunch of liars.

3. Get stuck for life if you squint and a gust of wind passes

Mh… no. Otherwise, we would be a little more likely to have one eye that says shit to the other in adulthood.

4. Above all, do not swallow apple seeds otherwise an apple tree will grow in your belly

Kamikaze operation.

Picture credits: Topito

5. Your pee in the pool will be all blue

Ha ha ha… how to say… we realized quite quickly that it was rubbish.

6. If you get good grades, you’ll find a job when you’re older

Ha ha ha… how to say… we realized quite quickly that it was rubbish.

7. Your father is bald because he pulled out his beard too much.

As a result, you pulled on your hair for a long time to avoid your galloping baldness.

8. You are a physical and intellectual perfection

A belief that will expose you to vast disappointments in adulthood.

9. Owners of cars with 75 license plates are badgers

And then later, you went to live in Paris and you understood that your parents would no longer respect you until the end of your days.

10. Your dog Snowy is very happy on a big farm with lots of happy animals

But you’re not stupid, you know very well that Snowy is mostly sad and you don’t understand why this farm owner refuses to let you see him. We don’t do it to you.

11. Coke evaporates very very very quickly

No actually your dad just drinks it every time you turn your head.

12. Crème brûlée is for idiots

When in fact the creme brulee is too good and you’re just too disgusted to have passed by this dessert all your life.

13. Pants that don’t come just below the breasts are vulgar.

Out of rebellion you therefore wore low-waisted pants for a long time, then in fact the years passed and that’s it, you finally got into high-waisted pants. The cycle of life is on.

14. The rich are motherfuckers

It also works for “poor people are big shit” or more generally “left/right people are shit” depending on whether your parents are poor, rich, left or right.

15. You have to put your head back when you have a nosebleed.

Not only does it not stop the bleeding but it also directs it towards the throat. If you really want to limit your very serious haemorrhage, at the limit rather lean your head forward.

16. Bumblebees don’t sting

HAHAHAHAHA GOOD JOKE. Yes it is. They sting. Granted, they only sting in self-defense, but yes, they do sting.

17. To cure an ingrown toenail, you soak your foot in bleach.

No, does that mean anything to you? Is it just me…?

18. You have to eat meat at every meal or you die.

Ah bah great, and the planet you think about it? Thank you you screwed up my food education now I’m going to spend the rest of my life suffering because I’m forcing myself to eat less meat and I’m living it very badly.

19. Smoking kills

Uh sorry but I smoked a cigarette it didn’t kill me at all! No actually smoking kills, but slowly. Shade. Sacred mythos these darons.

20. “Yes yes of course your life fascinates me”

It starts with kindergarten where we believe that our stories of hopscotch and pottery fascinate them, then in college with our teachers and our grades, then in high school with our grades and our baccalaureate, then afterwards with our love stories, our galleys apart… So I’m sorry I’m going to teach you something, in truth they don’t give a damn, they think above all about death which is getting closer day after day.

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