Today, I decided to focus all my energy on a new fight: tea drinkers. Do you know what a mug says in front of a staircase? “I want my tea”. These are the kind of shitty jokes that these henchmen of satan make our lives unbearable. I am announcing here the end of their reign which has lasted only too long.
This top will be illustrated by tea drinkers with an orphan disease.
1. They leave their poop cups lying around
It’s obviously part of the packaging of ugly stuff among tea drinkers.
2. They ruin any surface leaving a yucky round mark
And the worst part is that they seem to like it.
3. They don’t respect the wood
Yes, because among the surfaces attacked, wood is of course one of their favorite materials.
4. They talk to each other about tea as if it were a cult
The next time a tea drinker mentions Genmaicha to me, I’ll puff their chamomile.
5. They have special tea kettles
Guys, don’t worry, just use hot water like everyone, we don’t give a damn about heating it up to 75° rather than 92° to drink a stupid green tea.
6. They have 17 tea bags in their closet.
Do you think a little about what their spouses have to endure?
Haha. I’m joking.
Of course tea drinkers don’t have spouses since no one loves them or wants them except maybe sick old people.
7. When they make tea, it’s the same carnage as smokers of rolls are everywhere
BUT DAMN ARE YOU GOING TO PUT YOUR DRIED LEAVES, SON OF A COWARD?
8. They say stuff like “Oh no, but you’re offering me some Lipton, it’s not even worth it”
Bah fuck you, in fact you will drink water.
9. They are the only ones who appreciate teas that are unanimously considered disgusting
Roiboos, white tea, puffed rice tea… The list of disgusting teas is long and tea lovers have no trouble selling their merits.
10. When they make tea, it’s a ritual
Heat the water to the right temperature, put the water in the teapot, then the tea, let it steep for exactly 2 minutes and 47 seconds, take out the right cup (the only one not in the sink). They alone repeat themselves daily like a mantra the mistakes not to make with tea.
11. They take forever to drink it
And then we end up with half-full cups of tea with brown stains all over the wall just because these idiots considered that the tea was no longer at the ideal temperature for their delicate palates.
12. They paw at the names of teas as if they were perfumes
“Have you tested “Silk Snow”? It tastes like Christmas spices, cardamom and wheat.
– No, but try “Colline du crack” it has subtle notes of agave syrup, ratatouille and tire”
This is what a simple exchange between two asshole tea drinkers can look like.
13. They know the difference between a tea, an infusion and a verbena
While all this is the same thing = piss.
14. They always make an unbearable noise while sipping their cup.
Or some shitty thing like that.
15. They are fans of England and their traditional “cup of tea”
But we know that the English have no taste so something appreciated by the British is the worst red flag.
16. They are very condescending to coffee drinkers.
“Ah yes, do you drink coffee? you know not to abuse it. On the other hand, coffee is a bitter substance without any refinement. I find it hard to understand what you find in him, you kind of human shit. »
That’s the kind of talk your fellow tea lover might say.
17. They have tea sets
I fucking hate them.
18. Basic, they just like water with leaves in it
Maybe someone needs to tell them?