Ouch ouch ouch… It’s back to school and already the questions that annoy. Well at the same time don’t act like you’re surprised, we have a war going on close to our house and we’ve just had a scorching summer with a drought rarely equaled so no wonder we have to start changing our habits regarding our energy resources. Still, this winter’s electricity bill looks steep, so if until then you haven’t made any particular effort for ecological reasons, here’s an opportunity to make an effort for economic reasons, YAY.
PS: in truth, we already have all the tips to reduce your electricity bill so here we are going to think outside the box of energy saving to get into the hard part of the subject, get out your notebooks.
1. Ditch telecommuting to take advantage of office heating
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Negotiate with your employer the possibility of sleeping on site. You will drastically reduce your bill and provide your employer with more working time. It’s wonderful.
2. Living in complete darkness
At first it will be a little difficult but your pupils will get used to it and then anyway if you go to bed around 5 p.m. you don’t need a light at home. You will make up for all your lack of sleep accumulated over so many years and you will be rich.
Finally you will be less poor.
Finally you understood.
3. Take advantage of rainwater to wash your clothes
Yes good OK we now know that rainwater is ultra polluted but good is it really dramatic to wash your clothes with polluted water? As long as it snows, the fiber of the clothes will be all the more reinforced. Awesome no?
4. Eat only salads
After all, why limit yourself to salads in summer? Certainly tomatoes are not in season but hey you still have plenty of other fruits and vegetables such as beets, cabbage, apples, carrots, spinach. Well, that’s what these are foods that you don’t need to reheat, so don’t complain.
5. Date lots of girls and guys on Tinder to use their shower
Do not hesitate to bring your dish to warm up as well as your telephone and computer chargers in order to make this sexual escapade a good financial operation.
6. Go to a warm country in winter to never live in the cold again (like Dubai)
You can also opt for vida loca and live only on the plane in order to take advantage of the heating in air transport. Your carbon footprint will be multiplied by 1000 but hey, what does global warming cost when you can have a little comfort, damn wood?
7. Connect to the neighbor’s meter
Simple. Easy. Allows you to forge close ties with your neighbours. Don’t hesitate to pump his WiFi too. Some Wi-Fi code names are so funny they deserve to be squatted on.
8. Plug everything into batteries
It’s all stupid in fact, just had to think about it. And you just need big batteries. I don’t see why we can’t solve the problem like that…
9. Do like the English of “Don’t pay UK”, the 130,000 Britons who signed a petition and refuse to pay their energy bill. Should have thought about it.
Afterwards we just have to launch “don’t pay the highway” and “don’t pay a baguette”, and we stop with this story of money and the State. Not stupid guys.
10. Leave the oven open after cooking
But hey, that means you used it… Frankly not the best trick. You disappoint me.
11. Make you tell all the series and movies of the moment rather than turn on the TV / pay for your box / your Neftlix subscription
Ideal for renewing social ties with your loved ones and giving back its letters of nobility to the oral tradition of transmitting stories.
12. Play sports all the time so you never get cold
Without NEVER stopping, otherwise you will have to take a shower and from an economic point of view you will not be able to afford it.
13. Discreetly make holes in the parquet in each room of your apartment to steal some heat from your neighbors
If the holes are small, they won’t see anything, don’t even worry.
14. Do your reading every night on a chair in front of a store window that stays lit all night.
In any case, it’s really cool to make efforts to save energy at home while all the shops leave the lights on all night. Really great.
15. Put mirrors on the walls opposite to reflect the light of the neighbors
Not only is it practical but it will really expand your apartment. But if you know, it’s always what real estate agents say, “screw up two mirrors and your 12m2 will pass for an easy 80m2”.
16. Repeat “end of abundance” continuously to motivate you
There’s a time when it’s going to work right?