When you become parents, be careful about the first name you choose for your child. First, avoid anything ridiculous like Pipeline or Porte-Monnica, because you’ll ruin his life. But you also have to think about how the first name will be perceived in other languages. Because yes, there are first names that pass very badly beyond certain borders. If you give them to your children, strangers will happily laugh at them. One solution is to dig into common first names all over the world. Another is to give a damn. Everyone has their whims.
1. Fanny means “pussy” in English
Table of Contents
In England and Australia, fanny means “pussy” in slang, so it doesn’t give a damn. And if you tell yourself that you can at least go to the States, there it’s not better because fanny designates the ass, also in slang. In short, it’s a bad start for an international career with this first name.
2. Bill = ass in Dutch
This very common first name in the English-speaking world does not pass too much in the Netherlands, since bill translates to ass over there. We may well make fun of you if you wear this sweet name.
In Spanish, tomar, it is a verb that has several meanings, including that of “to drink”. So, Thomas, it sounds like toma, which means “wood”. During your Erasmus, you will therefore often be invited to drink while laughing (jajajajajaja these Spanish speakers are unbearable).
Basically, it’s a beautiful first name inherited from the Egyptian goddess of the same name. Unfortunately, this is the name that was also given to Daesh among English speakers, and even if it is pronounced aillezissein writing it will make them very weird.
Ser gay, in Spanish, means “to be gay”. You can then imagine how disabling the first name can become in society when, as soon as it is pronounced, a slew of guys start laughing heartily.
Another very pretty first name that finds itself perverted in another language. It is this time the German slang which poses a problem, since for him, klo simply refers to the toilets. So avoid any diminutive when you find yourself with people speaking the language of Joachim Löw.
In France, it’s already not easy to wear this first name every day, because you’ll get bullshit like “Lou, are you there?” hihihihi”, but it’s in English that it’s going to start to get really boring. In effect, loo, in British English slang, it means toilets. Nobody wants a child who looks like a toilet.
A Marc who goes on a trip to Norway will be subject to jeers because his name will sound like the one used to designate earthworms, mark. There’s worse in life, but it’s still sucks.
It’s already not a pretty first name, Randy, and it’s even less so in India. There, in Hindi, hiking means “prostitute”. Do you want to be mistaken for a sex worker? No, of course.
In writing, this first name will already make many French people smile, but that’s not all. In Argentina it’s much worse, because that’s the slang word for fellatio. A bit like if your name was Pipe. Not cool.
The first name of Apple’s voice assistant does not pass in Japan, because it looks too much like Shiri, a word for ass. “Say ass, where can I find a good restaurant?” You see, it’s not all right.
Dominic’s diminutive sounds like a Dutch slur when talking about someone stupid. What to pass for a beautiful idiot.
Nick your mother, Nick your race, Nick the police… No need to draw a picture or a French lesson, you see very well where it gets stuck.
Kara, in Arabic, it’s poo. It’s that simple. There’s nothing worse than inhaling the thought of feces when someone talks about you.
The first name sounds too much like the Danish word weaves, which simply means “urinal”. Better think twice before giving your kid that name.
In Japanese, geri is… diarrhea. Suffice to say that it sounds very bad to their ears, this first name. Blink-182 fans (good people, then), will remember that they have a song called Dysentery Gary, which can be translated as “Gary the bitch”. A beautiful coincidence that is perhaps not one.