When you are a girl, you sometimes experience the heavy burden of having to bear a first name. And sometimes an ugly first name. All his life moreover. But in a pinch, we accept it obediently because it is nature that decided it. Of course, some suffer more than others (we think of the Emma and Sandy jokes), but hey, it’s our lot to suffer. On the other hand, if there’s one thing that’s not fair, it’s when your parents choose a rotten first name for you without feeling an ounce of regret. Thanks to your votes (more than 7 million participants in France and the rest of the world) we have thus established the ultimate ranking of the biggest shitty names not to be given to your child.
Editor’s note: Yeah OK I admit I’ve cheated the ranking a bit compared to the image of one of the top, but to be honest I’ve only met one Zulmee in my life so I naively thought it would be not very telling if I told you that she was in first place in the ranking. Here is. Now you know.
You have all chosen to elect this first name as being the most rotten of the whole world from the panel of 35 first names that we submitted to you. It’s a tough choice, but it’s your choice, and we have to respect it. To tell you the truth, there must be 8 Zulmées in France and all over 92 years old, so I don’t think we risk becoming fried with the Zulmée community.
And yet I know some nice Perrines, I promise you that from my personal experience, you can get by in life by being called Perrine. Even if it looks like “perineum”, even if it starts with the sound “fart” and ends more or less with the sound “urine”.
This yucky first name may be one of the 50 most given names in France in 2017, but it is nonetheless a rotten first name that smells good of the future bitch who will denounce her enemies to the mistress. No really, if you called your daughter Soline, you can still change your mind before it’s too late and the little being you cowardly named Soline becomes… Soline.
Of course, this first name cannot meet with any form of respect. Already, we do not know if it is a first name or a diminutive which immediately poses a problem on the moral level. In short, we had to choose between Lila or Louise but not Lilou, thinking that it would pass cream. Already that Lou is one of the first names that export the worst…
A first name that smells of the portraits of horses plastered in the bedroom and the purulent pimples in a haze of vanilla perfume.
In a pinch, if you really have to wear a rotten first name, you might as well call yourself Cappuccino, at least we’ll have some discounts in Nespresso boutiques. But this is of course a big no for the Capucines.
An adulterated first name as evidenced by this example of jokes frequently encountered in the life of an Éléonore: “And but where is Élé? Is she south or is she north?! LAUGHTER IS EXCITING!
Well then, I didn’t really follow the violence of your choice. But hey, as I am honest and honest and my journalistic morality is equaled only by my beauty, I am obliged to return the ranking as what you did with your surly and full of gall votes.
The funny thing with Inès, and that it looks like “anus”.
How about calling her daughter “marble” while you’re at it? No but really, have we ever seen that?
A collection of sounds that are rather unpleasant to the ear form this meaningless first name that does not even deserve to start with a capital letter.
I don’t know Léna but it’s true that said like that, it sounds like the first name of a person to whom we basically want to lack respect. It’s not me who says it, it’s France!!! Look at the polls!!!! They say the truth !!!!!
Yet it is a practical first name because it is very short. And when we think of people who have a first name of more than three syllables like Marie-Clothilde or Gaëtanaëlle, we can say that Zoé at least will waste less time in her life writing her first name than the unfortunate Marie-Clothilde and Gaëtanaëlle. But what do you want me to tell you. France does not like the first name Zoé. And Zoé gives it back to him.
Yet popular as a first name and common among renowned stars such as Mélanie Doutey, Mélanie Laurent, Mélanie Bernier or Mélanie Griffith, it seems that this name is rejected en bloc by voters.
Good to be honest you had quoted it in second position of the most rotten first names. Just after Zulmée which for once is a real female name which testifies to your taste for adventure. Just before Chair, which officially remained the third most rotten first name to give to a girl. But since we found zero people named “Chair” we thought there was no point in mentioning them.
Thank you for commenting with thoughtful, sensible arguments that will contribute to this national debate that all French people have been waiting for too long.