Children, not only do you have to give birth to them, but you also have to feed them, change their diapers and find them a first name. For this, parents engage in a high-flying search that most often ends with a fairly banal first name, despite untimely attempts at originality. We peel all that without a peeler.
1. Those who don’t want to be original
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Guys, it’s not like they had nine months to decide. When the day came, they got really lazy. If they could not have given a first name at all they would have done so, limiting themselves to a simple “hep” to challenge the fruit of their love. But no, that’s not happening. So they googled the most popular first names in France and then there you go. And again, the child has pot, it could almost have been called “Google Search Bar”.
Possible first names: it’s simple, for girls it’s either Louise or Emma, for boys it’s Gabriel or Léo.
2. Those who want to invent their own name brand at all costs
Parents never want to tell themselves that they are parents like the others, it’s still nicer to feel like a salmon sailing against the current. So balek cousins, we just have to invent our own first name, it will go well with our ham rind curtains (I warned you, we are talking about parents really originals).
Possible first names: Zboubida, Klutrex, Bidoulah. It’s quite rich in fact you can take almost any letter of the alphabet (and again, you can even leave the alphabet in fact, we don’t give a damn about conventions, give a damn numbers and mathematical formulas, you will earn the respect of Elon Musk*).
* For those who do not have the ref (haha dummies), please refer to the worst names of children of stars.
3. Those who want to pay homage to grandparents
You will notice, we give more often first names of iev to children today than first names of darons. Let me explain. You will be more seduced by a first name old fashioned of the Odette or Gustave type than a first name of the generation of our darons of the Jean-Pierre or Annick type. It’s cyclical, your children’s children will have their own baby-boomer first names too one day.
Possible first names: Solange, Ferdinand, Honoré, Suzanne… If your grandparents were collaborators and you don’t want to pay homage to them without any collaboration, all you have to do is look at the trendy first names for the elderly to find what you’re looking for.
4. Those who draw on mythology to show that they have already taken a history course in their life
The advantage with the mythological names is that they slam a max.
The disadvantage with mythological names is that BUT WHO DO YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO GIVE A NAME OF GOD TO YOUR OFFSET WHEN IT HAS NOT EVEN BEEN DESIRED SPECIES OF ANIMAL.
Possible first names: Xena, Hippolytus, Diana, Narcissus, Antigone, Iphigenia, Eurydice, Zeus. Afterwards, it’s up to you to assess which character from mythology has the creepiest story to tell your child every night.
5. Those inspired by TV series characters
There are people who are inspired by great characters from classical literature, “And if we paid homage to Madame Bovary with the first name Emma? Or to Stendhal and his Julien Sorel? ». God knows they had nice fates. And then there are those who haven’t read the obligatory novels at school and instead fall back on serial first names. Let’s not judge them.
LOL. If I’m kidding let’s judge them.
Possible first names: Daenerys, Arya and Ygritte after Game of Thrones, Lorna after Orange is the New Black, Angel after Buffy, KITT after K-2000 (fake).
6. Those who directly call their child by a nickname or nickname
There are those who like to burn the candle at both ends by skipping the first name stage to throw themselves into the clutches of the diminutive. Typically the kind of person who cuts his spaghetti and puts ice cubes in red wine. Infrequent.
Possible first names: Louison, Jo, Ana, Val, Emie, Jeannou… So many people you don’t want to go on vacation with.
7. Almost monosyllabic first names because I’m too lazy to write a first name with more than three letters
In life, we waste a lot of time writing our first name. So inevitably those who have shorter first names save a lot of time on those who have longer first names. And that, the parents understood it well and François Rollin summarizes it marvelously well.
Possible first names: Léo, Noé, Mia, Max… Oddly enough, Jean and Luc don’t really find their place in this panoply, perhaps because we’ve made too many jokes with the first name Jean-Luc to leave him room for a comeback.
8. First names that were rare and chic and have become ultra mainstream
A few years ago, there were very few of this kind. We watched them out of the corner of our eyes. Who were these weird kids with names that came out of nowhere? And then neither one nor two, a small group will have sufficed to launch a now unstoppable fashion.
Possible first names: Oceane, Mathis, Clea. Before you only came across one specimen of their species in a lifetime, and now they are stuffed into every classroom, swarming on every street corner.
9. Those who have watched reality TV too much and who burn the spelling with napalm in the choice of first name
Among the great evils of humanity caused by reality TV, we can, among other things, blame it for a generation of totally gunned down first names. Fortunately, these children will in turn be able to become reality TV stars rather than doctors or lawyers, soooooo boriiiiiiiing jobs next to a SIF tan in a villa decorated by Philippe Stark in Dubai.
Possible first names: Looyze, Battist, Jozéfinn, Bazooka… Don’t worry, we’ve gathered the best first names to give for your child to become a reality TV star.
10. Those who want to transmit the love of their region to their child
It generally works with regions with strong independence potential such as Brittany, Corsica or the Grand Est (haha no I’m kidding for the Grand Est). And since you don’t necessarily have the right to tattoo “Kénavo les menhirs” on your child’s forehead, you fall back on the first name.
Possible first names: Titouan, Bleuzen, Goulwena (I refer you to the worst Breton first names), Patxi for the Basque country, Petru for Corsica etc.
11. Those who have not been able to decide on the choice of first name and mix the two they have chosen
Generally, to raise a child there are two people. They are the ones who will fulfill the role of parent and will have the precious leisure of dressing it up with a nickname. Problem, the two people each have their favorite first name and no one wants to let go. Generally the result smells like the bowl.
Possible first names: Louma (for Louise and Emma), Timotin (for Timothée and Quentin), Xalien (for Xavier and Julien). I’ll stop there otherwise I’ll vomit on you.
12. Those who opt for siblings of first names that start or end the same
We do not often come across siblings of 4 or 5 children but it happens that their parents, devoid of any form of creativity, give themselves a common thread to find all their first names. This common thread could be the planets of the solar system (but hot to call the child we like least Neptune) or the deadly sins (but can you imagine your name is Orgueil Dupont? You’ll never find a job! ). Fortunately, not all parents are despicable sadists and sometimes opt for simplicity.
Possible first names: it’s quite large but it gives a framework, we can thus find siblings of Léa, Julia, Andréa, Anna or Gwendoline, Gaétan, Giulia, as long as the last or first letter is identical, they are fulfilled.
13. Those who want to show that they are green at all costs
Already it’s sometimes ugly to be in a relationship with an eco-friendly, some hotheads (by global warming) do not hesitate to convert their offspring from an early age to their green-friendly love.
Possible first names: Gaïa, Cherry, Violet, Clementine, Compost. Sometimes there is no limit.
14. Those who wish ill for their child by making a pun with the surname
Spoofing your child from birth is quite funny. And that, the parents who make puns with his first name have understood it well and we respect them for that.
Possible first names: like Pierre-Yves Agin. Who would dare call their child that?
15. Those who take their own name and add “junior” behind
But who does that?
Possible first names: any existing first name as long as you add Junior to it. Maxime Jr. Marie-Lise Jr.