We make a big deal out of sex (by the way, it stinks and it’s really disgusting) but the foreplay is nevertheless at least as important, don’t neglect it! Admittedly, it’s not a matter of systematically fooling around for two or three hours before getting down to business (especially when it’s 7 p.m. and you don’t want to miss the news and you’re hungry) but sometimes you have to come back above. Do not always fuck in two minutes for form, it does not hurt anyone.
1. Carresse, mother of all virtues
And what does “caress” rhyme with, huh? With “kermesse” good OK it has nothing to do… But it rhymes above all with “tenderness”, because that is the key word preliminary (this word does not exist but I would like to submit it to the French academy, so if you could use it regularly in everyday language, there is a little chance that we will put it in the next edition of the Larousse). Unless, of course, your partner wears a latex mask and prefers whipping, in which case don’t hesitate to perform it with a lot of tenderness as well.
2. There’s no fire at the lake
You have quite a bit of time in front of you, don’t you? Succeeding in your preliminaries begins by combining them with slowness. You have to languish a little, take breaks, resume, speed up, calm down for two minutes. In short, the whole thing is to hold back as long as possible from taking action. Since in most cases the sexual intercourse will last less than 3 minutes (come on, admit it), you might as well put the package before.
3. Avoid unsuitable places for foreplay
Like a very dirty toilet in a heroin addict squat, or a subway corridor at rush hour, or in the middle of a business meeting. Three typical situations where the practice of foreplay can be uncomfortable, even slightly embarrassing for those around you, or even punishable by law.
4. Whisper sweet nothings in your ear
Soft words or more wild words, as you wish. Anyway, the whispers are exciting enough not to be listened to, so basically you can recite the recipe for a beef Bourguignon, it will still have its little effect.
5. Do a head massage
One hand in the hair, another on the back of the neck, and we stir it all up with sensuality and elegance. Many human beings can be made very docile thanks to the massage of the skull, so it is also an opportunity to seize to ask for money or to announce to your partner that you are leaving him. As long as the scalp is skilfully kneaded, it will naturally be obedient. A word of advice, practice with the best do-it-yourself massages.
6. Erogenous zones, the journeys that shape youth
OK, OK, we have the classic tourist areas: the neck, the thighs, the breasts, the buttocks. But like on any trip, you don’t want to end up with everyone at the same attraction, you want to think outside the box (I’m not sure where I’m going with this metaphor). What if we took a turn behind the knees, around the inter-gluteal groove or between the toes? There is certainly something to eat (in the figurative sense, eh, otherwise it’s disgusting, go throw up right away).
7. Have more than one trick up your sleeve
It is not a question of applying to the letter a precise route approved by the local guide. A little unexpected in this world of brutes, you have to try things, surprise, and then ideally you shouldn’t hesitate to chat a little, because logically you’re not all alone so the another fanatic in front of you may have preferences. If his love is to have a teaspoon in the eye while you pull his ear, you have to risk it.
8. Think about being together
It’s better. Indeed, a lot of foreplay cannot take place in a solitary setting which will then be mostly limited to masturbation followed by a moment of shame (because you did it on Christmas Day and your nephews were playing in the room). ‘to the side).
9. “Know how to hypnotize me, wrap me, capture me. Undress me, undress me”
M’dame Juliette Greco showed it well with her song, stripping is an art. Whether you let yourself be undressed or undressed, you have to take your time and constantly re-negotiate the undresser/undressed contract. Garment after garment, while keeping the panties as a chastity belt to postpone the joys of penetration at the last moment.
10. Branling (the English version of the word branl*tte), everything comes to the point to who knows how to wait
As the famous saying goes, “A well seized penis is better than two you will have”. It is not a question of shaking this apparatus with the same vigor as for raising a good mayonnaise, insofar as we are still at a preliminary stage, let’s go gently, alternating with other activities such as knitting or crosswords (strength 3/4).
11. Put your finger in a gear
Just like the grip of the protruding trunk of which one would like to be the climbing ivy, the fingering must be gentle and not give in to disastrous accelerations. Finally, if it’s possible, basically you do what you want, the whole thing is not to shake the female with breasts swollen with desire like an old coconut tree.
12. No hands!
After all you can also not take gloves and suddenly, do without hands (humor is my religion). Nothing prevents you from watching each other caress yourselves, or alternately touching each other, the other watching and the sheep will be well guarded. At least each will know what really appeals to the other. Pleasure of the eyes.
13. Don’t pretend like when you had to overplay the joy when you got your grandma’s last present.
It won’t help much, it’s better to report it if you remain unmoved, it’s information that could frankly be useful to your partner.
14. Do not put “Do not touch my post” (even in the background)
Unless it excites your partner. In that case, run away, run away now before it’s too late and never come back.
15. Avoid singing “Marshal, here we come!”
Especially if you have range problems and you have a little trouble putting your voice down.