Top 15 things we objectively have the right to steal, vaaaaa

Hello big thug life who fly like they breathe! So, how’s it going on the Thugosphere side? What’s new ? Heeeeeein? You stole pencils from Ikea and don’t feel like you’re pissing anymore? AHAHAHAHAH but that’s NO my little wolves! That’s not hoodlum theft, huh. It’s not even a robbery at all in fact… Well, OK… I see that you still have to explain yourself again. Listen up this time, because I won’t say it again: Stealing stuff from this list isn’t really stealing. Got it?

1. Ikea pencils

Well, in itself… Can we really consider it to be theft if it’s self-service? Afterwards, do you really need to fill your pockets, your bag, your hood and even your soul with pencils (or wooden pencils, or gray pencils, you understand)? Yes ? Ah ok, time for me!

2. The neighbors’ wifi

A bit technical, since you have to find the code. And honestly, to try for several months, it’s not easy! So, I think we can consider it more as a great reward for your work and your self-sacrifice, than theft.

3. Any clothes in your sister’s/brother’s closet

As a family, we share everything. As the saying goes, “what’s mine is yours”. So good… Those great Lévis jeans that catch your eye in your sister’s dressing room… Well, put them on! If she really loves you, she only wants you to be happy. And if your happiness is in her dressing room then she shouldn’t blame you.

4. Your friend’s lighter

Stealing a lighter does not exist. A lighter lives to travel from pocket to pocket, from house to house and from glove box to glove box. To be careful that your lighter does not disappear is to prevent it from living. It is extinguishing its reason for existing. Lock him in a glass prison. Reduce his existence to ashes. Forbid him to make his life a dream and his dream a reality. It disgusts me.

5. Your roommate’s BNs

Well, it’s still theft… But it happens to everyone to be wrong, in fact! Whoever has never confused his package of old organic dry cake with his roommate’s good soft biscuits, filled with chocolate, throws the first stone at me, in fact!

6. Soaps at the hotel

Euuuh… They are arranged in the shower to decorate, perhaps? No ! So if I want to wash myself with it, even when I get home, to make the holiday spirit last a little longer, I have every right, huh.

Note that you can also give it a try with the bathrobe, shower towels and slippers. On the other hand, for the first two, if the hotel notices it, it can charge you for them. So we do this with caution! For example, it’s safer to accidentally leave the pool with two towels instead of one… Rolalala but what a dizzy you are then, hihi.

7. Someone’s Umbrella

Stealing an umbrella has become so much of a rule that it isn’t really stealing anymore. Here’s how it goes: you’re at a friend’s house and it starts to rain. “Oh nooooo, do you have an umbrella to lend me please? I’ll bring it back to you next time. “You never bring him back. Your friend uses this technique with another friend. The umbrella waltz continues. End of the story.

8. The cigarettes that your friends forget at home

Anything left over after a party is officially considered a gift. However, I am not without teaching you that “to give is to give, to take back is to steal”. So don’t hesitate to treat the “buddy” who dares to ask for a packet of cigarettes left on the coffee table as a big thief. No but lol, but what world do we live in, seriously?

9. Your BFF’s girl

Wow, it’s phew how you both really have the same tastes. It’s fucking beautiful. Friendship stories like that really piss me off. Raw love. Sharing above all. Wow. I would like to experience that one day, too.

10. Jokes

Ok, but what about the funny then, please. Not that of your drunk uncle at Christmas. No, because if it’s to tell me “take the opportunity to look at your ass” when I tell you that my head is spinning… It’s okay, thank you, I gave!

11. Glasses in bars

Sooooooooo… If I’m drunk, it’s not theft… It’s just that these glasses and I, we became really good friends hjikqdfpj… And they begged me to come and live with me… Hic… Look at their little girls heads there… I wasn’t going to abandon them!

12. Road signs

It’s a green approach, in fact. We call it “home staging”, more or less (or “Home made”). No, because you’re not completely stupid either! Your “alternating traffic” sign, you don’t just proudly bring it home, followed by your buddy humming while wearing a cone on his head… NO. You make a coffee table out of it. Very ugly, of course. But eco. You really are a golden person!

13. The entire buffet

Euuuuh, excuse me for a bit, but it does say “at will”, doesn’t it? So if my will is to fill my bag with breads, small butters, ham and yoghurt to be able to picnic for the next 3 days, it’s MY will, in fact. You don’t have to judge me or point fingers at me. Thank you. Pass me the compotes.

14. Your classmate’s lice

Ah well, that’ll teach you to fly! In addition to experiencing the worst itching of your life, getting a soap from your mother, banging you with the shampoo of death based on an ultra greasy product, followed by an hour and a half of combing through it… You’ll also and above all puuuuuer essential oils of lavender for a month. yuck. It’s called karma.

15. All the stars in the sky, to put them in your eyes

Rooooh, stop! You’re gonna make me blush, hehe.

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