Hello Totemixes! So yes, it’s neither QuentinD nor Freeze talking to you because listen, we all have a life outside of Koh-Lanta and we also need a vacation, so let them rest on their straw mattress. I therefore take up the torch for a few moments to tell you about last night’s episode, that of the reuuuuunification (which was not really one if you watched until the end). So will François stop being sexist? Will Maxime burn his shirt? Will we miss Alexandra? Answer right away.
1. Setha freaks out with her fake collar
Frankly, she’s starting to piss us off with her invisible collar. So yeah, she still does great acting. But she still swung that she herself was beginning to believe that she had a necklace in her bag. Soon, she will call him “her imaginary friend”.
2. Olga has given up on any hair effort since Alexandra left
Frankly, we haven’t done better since Pippi Longstocking. Poor Stéphanie who sacrificed her hair when there was this next…
3. The reds themselves no longer believe in it
Denis: “Don’t lose the thread, otherwise the cursed totem risks inviting itself into your home. »
The yellows: “Ok, we’re going to smash everything!” »
The reds: “Oh well anyway, he’s already here for us, he’s used to inviting himself in, eh. »
Well okay, well great, let’s go cheerfully!
4. Denis warming up for Top Chef
“So to make a good fillet of beef, the trick is to wrap the meat in two layers of aluminum foil 20 minutes before serving. After, you pour the juice so as to coat your fillet well and you serve it still hot with small sautéed potatoes. Good tasting ! »
(Speaking of this little beef tenderloin, it still looked like an asshole seen from the side, right? No?)
5. Nicolas wants to do weird stuff on the spit
Nicolas: “It has to start quickly because there, I want to grumble the spit. »
Ok Nico, but calm down though.
6. The comfort test was longer than the duration of the Covid
25 MINUTES!!! 25 minutes for a relay-agility test. It should be forbidden. Denis is literally making fun of us. There, it’s no. There, we are not happy! Fortunately, the impressive comeback of the Reds (which thus broke their 21-day fast) kept us going. Because otherwise it sucked, sucked, sucked. Don’t ever do that to us again Denis, you hear?
7. Yannick has a bad ego (and Maxime is a bit in bad faith)
Yannick, a little unhappy not to win his quintuplet and disgusted to have lost at the last moment, complains about Maxime who let his nosy little eyes trail on the yellow team when they were building their poles. “Yes, yes, Maxime he’s not smart, he looked on my copy, it’s really not too much”. Ok, Yannick but as Maxime justified, it was not forbidden (even if it suited him well on this one). Come on, admit Yannick, you just had the seum of not thinking to watch as the reds were using their pole. Not to us.
8. We did not understand the rules of the ambassadors
“If everyone agrees unanimously, the name of the future ambassador can be marked on the parchment, but if not, then there will be a draw with four black balls will result in a show of hands, then the other team will come to the camp to elect the one who must vote and the voter will be able to choose the two candidates who will be able to go on a trek to discuss the name of the future ambassador. In real life, you can do it again, Denis please, I wasn’t listening well at first…
9. Maxime isn’t that hungry after all
So it’s been 21 days since the Reds have been breaking the slab to the point of almost eating a beehive and Maxime can’t find anything better to do than clean up?? On the verge of asking his teammates if they can wipe their shoes before entering the kitchen area. Note however that the guy put on a nice shirt to eat a fillet of beef with fingers full of sand. You have to stop the brunches when you get back to Paris Maxime, it’s getting nimp.
10. François is a big CASE-COUILLE forcer
Francis the sexist doesn’t seem to have understood the concept of hunger (and collective victory). And since he thinks he has more slab than the others, he doesn’t understand why little zoulettes who are really big, fragile and who deserve to eat grass should also have access to the reward. Result, he forces as much as your friend who wants to eat the end of your fries so that the girls leave him meat, and does not hesitate to spread a layer on Louana’s pesco-vegetarian diet. Listen François, ask Maxime, maybe he’ll leave you his share of meat if you let him clean the joints in the cabin.
11. We already know the future couple of this season
As eye-catching as Maxime’s melon.
12. Colin is one hell of a trickster
While he proclaims loud and clear that he will go to the black ball and that he will “turn the head” of Louana, Colin does not really care about his team and confides in Olga (well, well …) that he will never go to the black ball. That’s mytho… And frankly, at the end, we didn’t even know what to think of it, as he played the guy who wants to give everything for his team. Setha has design for the Oscars.
13. Setha is a little in the sauce
The best player of this season ends up understanding that her mytho can get her in big trouble if she goes too far in her lie. If anyone finds out about this beautiful deception, we don’t give much of our skin. So she decides to tell the reunification that her necklace is no longer valid and frankly, that seems to be the best strategy to adopt (even if we would really like to continue to see her fool everyone like a champion).
14. Maxime and François are on the verge of shoving Louana’s head in the sand to put pressure on her
No, but it’s okay big nags, we don’t bother you, always more kindness, thank you! First Maxime who whines because he’s afraid of being eliminated (“It’s unthinkable to put the name of a red huh? HEIN? HEIN IT’S IMPESSANBLE ???”). Then François tells him that she’s going to get screwed up but that she has no interest in doing shit while the guy is crying for a poor piece of meat. Frankly, we pity poor Louana. Nobody touches bébou ok ???? This story is going to end badly.
15. WHY DENIS, WHY ?????????
A twist plot that we would have preferred never to see since now we have to wait a whole week to find out if Louana will crack under the pressure or if Colin will finally refuse to go to the black ball to save his adventure. The suspense is fucking unbearable, why are they doing this to us????? There is more humanism on this planet!