Are you well settled? I don’t hear your answers, so here we go for the seventh episode of this maudddite season. You all remember what happened last week: JP left because his feet were the size of two Twingos, Stephanie came back, she shot about 32 black balls, and she left right away . A very funny episode, but rather poor in terms of clash and strategy.
Did last night’s episode hold us any better? It’s time to talk about it without any concessions.
1. Silence Alexandra please
Alexandra explains to us from the start that even if she and the egg yolks eat the equivalent of a mechoui every 3 days, they are “down” 24 hours later. Seriously, “RE-DOWN”?? Is it the start-up nation here? It shows that even Nico is judging her at that time. But hey, for once Alexandra didn’t talk about the West Indies, and that’s already good progress.
2. It starts with a mythical event
We had just said goodbye to Canteloup when we went directly to a test of comfort, and not just any: clubs and pottery. We like this one because it’s guaranteed to see some really bad jumps.
The yellows seemed clearly advantaged with Yannick the basketball player in their rank, but it was ultimately Colin who did most of the work. Yannick still made up for it by completing a new comeback from the yellows to the reds. Frankly, the reds have to do something, it’s not possible to be overtaken at the finish line at each event.
So it seems that Maxime had trained at home. If he had trained to fail any of his 4 attempts, it’s super successful. Well done champion. We will also remember this magnificent jump of Setha, forever engraved in our memory.
3. Did the portrait of Alexandra have to be?
Sorry, we rejoiced a little too quickly earlier: finally we were entitled to the portrait of Alexandra who placed us about 50 times her “I come from Martinique” (in case you didn’t know yet) and even a nice ” I am Métis “ that we didn’t see coming at all.
4. Reds and yellows clearly do not live the same Koh-Lanta
While the reds make calculations to know if they have a meal with 3 grains of rice and a piece of rotten cassava or 4 grains of rice without cassava, the yellows explode their stomachs on a boat and make a boom. It’s not the same atmosphere.
We still thank the prod for letting us enjoy Colin’s burp and this hellish zouk between Yannick and Alexandra. beautiful moments
5. Abused this cursed totem
The reds nabbed the cursed totem in the comfort test, which allowed the yellows to practice the catapult for ages before the immunity test. A good big disadvantage for the reds.
It is still getting hotter and hotter this cursed totem. Next time what will it be? Are we going to ask the reds to do the tests blindfolded, on one foot, without breathing? Stephanie is going to throw black balls at them while insulting them? Are we going to broadcast Alexandra’s portrait to them on a loop while they sleep?
Need to calm down a bit.
6. The reds have to slab
They were on the verge of blowing up a beehive, they were so exhausted, but luckily Maxime ended up finding some cassava. Finally, “fortunately”, that we don’t know, because afterwards we had to listen to Maxime congratulating himself for 3 hours on having found cassava.
Maxim: “It’s as if I had snatched a victory”
Yeah yeah Maxime, it’s “as if”…
7. Maxime is sick
The guy wants to eat all the cassava in one meal on the pretext that he’s the one who found it, and he starts to get all the chicks in the camp drunk. We are totally team Louana who keeps calm in the face of this big bugger. It testifies to a sacred mental strength, because we would have already cracked a long time ago.
8. Uh sorry yellows what are you doing here?
It’s a delirium the toilet break in the yellows: they all go to shit at the same time in the rain. Maybe that’s the real team spirit…
9. Well then the yellows?
We thought that the cursed totem and the training of the yellows were going to kill the match for the immunity test, but in the end it was quite the opposite that happened: they totally picked themselves up.
Well done reds. Negative point for you: you will have to support Maxime 3 more days. It’s the price to pay.
10. Setha’s fake necklace is genius
18 days everyone thinks Setha has a necklace. This story is the longest bluff in the history of Koh-Lanta, and it really does shit in the strategies of the yellows.
It also reminds us that, even if she is discreet, Setha is a super interesting candidate who leads her boat well in the adventure. We still remember that in the first episode she was on the verge of being fired, and she is still there halfway through the season. A true queen.
11. We all had a thought for Teheiura
Nicholas: “Do you want her to forget that she has a necklace and not play it?” But that doesn’t exist.”
If so, it exists…
12. Advice like any other
Alexandra cracks up because she’s afraid to leave, Olga cracks up because Alexandra cracks up, Yannick freaks out with her 12 cursed bracelets, Setha calmly waits for the vote… Yeah, nothing new here, we’ll move on.
13. AND THIS IS EQUALITY
Let’s go for a second vote between Setha and Alexandra, between the most bluffing of graphic designers and the most West Indian of West Indians. The suspense is unbearable.
14. AND THIS IS THE BLACK BALL
CALL STÉPHANIE PLEASE, she’s the specialist.
By the way, Alexandra made the well during the chifoumi. She lost all our respect. We don’t make the well during a chifoumi, it’s forbidden.
15. Goodbye Alexandra
The West Indies are proud of your career…
Well in real life Alexandra was quite efficient on the tests, it’s still a loss for the yellows, but we will quickly recover from it all the same.
Meanwhile, Setha continues to pretend she has a necklace and everyone falls for it. This woman deserves an Oscar.