Whether we’re in middle school or high school, in STMG or L, at the back of the class or permanently, we’ve all had teachers who give lessons in weird positions and teachers who throw the same sentences at us as we comes out to us every year in all subjects to make us work properly. A little decryption to recover from these big mythos that participated in our childhood traumas. There’s nothing to be proud of.
1. “You won’t have a calculator all your life”
This sentence was valid at the time when the technology was not very very advanced (and still, if you had 15 € to buy yourself a pocket calculator, you were not so much in the sauce as that). But now that we all have great smart phones, this argument no longer holds water, give it crutches lol.
2. “You’re the worst class I’ve had”
Be careful, I reveal a big secret here: the teacher says this to his ten classes every year to establish his authority and make his students feel guilty for being so dissipated. I hope it works out and your whole being feels bad.
3. “I’m almost done correcting your papers”
Your teacher clearly spent his vacation week in Ibiza thanks to his very high salary as a civil servant, and therefore absolutely did not touch his work, of course.
4. “You will have a check-up every Friday with me”
You will have a test the first week, then the teacher will say that he is moving to the next week because he is nice and then he will completely forget his good resolution. Until January when he will try again but that does not deceive anyone, this stratagem is lost in advance.
5. “This will be an exercise that will take you 5 minutes to do”
Tell the teacher who wants to justify the fact that he gives you an assignment to do when you have four tests and 18 exos to do for 8 am tomorrow.
6. “Take care of the presentation in your notebooks, I will be very strict with the tea towels”
Threat that he will never carry out because a teacher clearly has other things to give a damn about his life than stealing your notebook to see if you have respected a margin of 2.3 cm.
7. “It’s no use copying the internet, if you do I’ll know”
In real life, apart from the baccalaureate, who has ever been taken for a little bit of well-remixed plagiarism? Anyway, we remind you, the national education does not have the budget to pay for anti-plagiarism software for all teachers. It’s not nice to lie.
8. “I don’t have any favorites”
Yeah, that’s not what the delegates reported, well… We’re not going to say anything because it’s still very nice when it’s you who has the encouragement at the end of the term.
9. “If you’re good this year, maybe we can organize a school trip for you”
Giving such false hope to students should be punishable by law, we all know that anyway, there is not the budget for (but hey, it’s not like this trip was ever considered no more, you have to surrender to the idea).
10. “You are the elite of France”
Favorite sentence of all prep teachers since 1971.
11. “Aim for the mention in the bac, it will open lots of doors in life.”
It’s false, completely false, every time I brag about my 17.89/20 in the baccalaureate, I’m told that I’m going to be called back and I still don’t have a permanent contract.
12. “The check will be exactly what we saw in class”
Maybe what you saw in class in another subject, because your math test obviously wasn’t on the matrices you’d been reviewing all night.
13. “If we finish the program early, we’ll have time to watch a lot of movies that I want to show you”
Strangely, we were always behind schedule. Coincidence?
14. “If you arrive more than 5 minutes late in my class, you won’t come in”
15 minutes with a good excuse is fine, trust us (but it has to be really good, we warned you).
15. “You know, teachers talk to each other”
When they can have fun and they have time to meet at the coffee machine in the staff room. Too bad, the conditions are often not all met.
We laugh, we laugh, but the world is also populated by very cool teachers who make you want to go back to sit at a table to write cheat sheets on an eraser and have pen fights on your neighbor’s notebook.