The fag is a scourge, it’s a reality, but you know what’s even worse? The electronic cigarette. What’s the point of screwing up your health and smelling like cotton candy if you even look a little stylish while smoking? It’s okay, I’m kidding. But frankly, there are way too many reasons to hate vapers and you know what, I’ll tell you all the ones that come to mind.
1. They make smokers feel guilty
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Smokers didn’t ask anyone, but vapers love to tell how much it changed their lives to switch to electronic cigarettes. “Nah because you understand, it’s still really better for the body but it also completely changes your state of mind. You know I got all my breath back? I also gained 12 IQ points and grew 10 centimeters. »
2. It feels like walking past a shisha bar every time they fire
You’re strolling quietly in the street when suddenly, it smells like the fuss booth at the fair and Lush bath bombs. No, you haven’t developed an unusual sense of smell, you just walked past a vaper in the street.
3. They kick you as soon as they run out of battery
Vapers keep you busy all day telling how great the electronic cigarette is and that they will never buy cigarettes again. Unfortunately, redeem and re-smoke are two very different verbs. As soon as he arrived at the bar, your vaping buddy started taxing you with cigarettes and he doesn’t seem ready to stop.
4. They always pick the worst tastes imaginable.
The problem with vapers is that they discover a whole world of possibilities the first time they step into a vape store. So they choose “Mango-Papaya”, “Pop-Corn” and “Bubble-gum” refills instead of smoking good-natured flavors like “Fourme d’ambert”, “Asbestos” or “Paquet de cigs”.
5. They use words like “an EC” or “my vape”
To use an electronic cigarette is to accept being contaminated with somewhat ridiculous boho terms. As it is too long to say (or write) electronic cigarette, some people say “a vapote”, “an e-cig” or even “an EC” and you have to get used to it.
6. They make so much smoke you’d think they set fire to a forest
The advantage of the electronic cigarette is that there is no ash and the smoke is only discreet vapor. Finally, not really discreet. In reality, an electronic cigarette smoker can exterminate the equivalent of the biodiversity of the city of Poitiers with a single puff.
7. It looks like they’re making a bomb every time they do their mixes to fill up the tank
Apart from puff smokers who throw away their strawberry cig when it’s finished and buy another one right away, vapers must fill their tank with e-liquid as soon as it’s empty. The most seasoned make their own mixtures, the most lazy empty their ready-made mini-bottle; it’s very simple but it always looks like they are in chemistry lab.
8. Their cigarette ALWAYS breaks the face when they put it on the table on the terrace
In an effort to piss people off, an electronic cigarette is never stable when it’s placed upright on a table. On the terrace, all you have to do is take your drink and all the electronic fags decide to commit suicide. Too sad.
9. They can smoke relatively quietly indoors.
When vapers attempt to smoke discreetly indoors in public places, the atmosphere becomes tense very quickly. Smokers are jealous, non-smokers find the smell unbearable, and the kids hanging around ask if they can shoot it.
10. They unplug your phone to charge their electronic cigarette
We don’t mind being generous and sharing our chargers with the lads who never have theirs, but if there’s one thing that deserves a jail sentence without penalty adjustment, it’s the theft of a charger while your phone at 4% battery is charging. If IN ADDITION it is to load an electronic cigarette, one can directly pass to the lethal injection.
11. They think they’re smart to make smoke rings with their “popcorn-papaya” breath.
Smoke rings anyway, it’s too much of a kid’s thing… It doesn’t make you want to try at all, huh, stop it’s not even true.
12. They knock her down all the time.
When you decide to buy an electronic cigarette, you must first pass a clumsiness test with a nice diploma on the line. If you are not able to drop your electronic cigarette 4 times a day at the end of your training, you will have to do without it.
13. They can’t even wave their lighters at a concert.
They can still wave their vape to show the flashing LEDs but it’s still less classy. Might as well go straight to the zero flashlight of the phone.
14. They are contagious
Without realizing it, vapers contaminate everyone around them. There are people who quit smoking to switch to mango-coconut vaping and others who didn’t even smoke who are now bottled on steam. Soon, we will be begging for liquid and electronic cigarette resistors in the street.
15. They never offer the homeless in need to shoot
While a smoker, always a good prince, would have offered a cigarette… What heartless stingy these vapers.