Whether you are organizing a party or whether you are an ordinary guest, the risks are great and you have to know it. After several decades of big bamboozles, we must warn you: there are mistakes that we have all made but that we could have avoided. Instead of going blind like a mad dog, follow our advice and you will see that your party experience (it’s English) will only be better.
1. Not eating
Because “eating is cheating” or just because we thought cheese chips would do the trick, whatever the reason, we all wake up one morning with a total and merciless bar in our skulls moaning that we should have eaten something.
The trick: eat before, eat during, eat after, whatever.
2. Arrive too early
Nobody likes people who arrive too early for a party. Your host is not ready, there are 2 people in the living room, the discomfort is palpable, and in addition you will be pissed off (find out more about this with this top of the stages of your evening in Paint illustrations).
The trick : try to arrive no earlier than one hour after the announced time, and this is a minimum.
3. Leave your pack of cigarettes on the coffee table
Everything happened very quickly, you had just left to piss and when you returned your package was gone. You will never see him again.
The trick: a personalized package with colored stickers, a cigarette case you never part with, an electronic cigarette or even better: don’t smoke.
4. Cut a piece in the middle to put another one that you prefer
Basically you’re convinced you’re doing well, but it’s not done: you don’t cut a piece brutally like that, without thinking of the dance floor which will, it’s inevitable, turn against you with a long unanimous cry of nervousness.
The trick: try to take care of the transition as much as possible, if you’re too lazy to wait until the end of the piece, try to gradually lower the volume, the guests will see nothing but fire.
5. Asking the girl crying in the toilet if she’s okay
Obviously, we first check that there is nothing serious. But if she’s crying because she’s sad and/or totally plump, she also probably wants to talk. And since you’re the only sucker to talk to him, you’re going to drag yourself this ball until death ensues.
The trick: ALWAYS go to the guys’ toilets at parties. No tails, no crying chicks, but PQ and lots of pee.
6. Put on heels when you spend your life in sneakers
You don’t mind, you spend your evening sitting down and when we talk to you, you moan. That’s not how you’re going to get handsome Brandon in your pocket.
The trick: drink enough to give a shit about walking barefoot through shards of glass and cigarette butts. Or have some Shoettes in your bag.
7. Launch a caterpillar
The caterpillar is something much more subtle than it seems. Whether you throw it sarcastically or not, that doesn’t stop you from doing it the right way. Too early in the evening, or in an evening that is too stuck, you risk eating a nasty wind that will make everyone uncomfortable. Too late and it will look like nothing.
The trick: consult your guests, warn a few minutes before and be at least 3 to initiate the bouzin.
8. Locking yourself in the toilet when you’re sick (and falling asleep in it)
It’s a normal reflex but it’s also a huge bullshit. The others will break down the door, you will hurt yourself and then sleeping with your head in the toilet is not particularly good for your ego the next morning.
The trick: even if it means sleeping or passing out somewhere, try to do it on the gigantic pile of coats that the guests have laid on the bed. Maximum comfort and you won’t stain the sheets if you vomit (but your friends’ jackets).
9. Throw food
There’s bound to be a moment when throwing cold dough salad in the face of the guy opposite might seem amusing to you: don’t do it. A fight over food can turn a good night out into a black hole that you don’t come out of alive. Personally, I would add that it’s been more than 5 years that one of my jackets smells of taramasalata and that it’s unpleasant as possible.
The trick: eat it, the food. (see item 1)
10. Make a great cocktail with lots of different alcohols
Mixes, when you do them on the scale of an evening it’s already not great, but if you do them directly in your glass it’s worse. Challenges such as “half vodka/half whiskey and we drink dead” are useless, believe me I tried.
The trick: if you’re mixing hard liquor, follow a cocktail recipe and don’t try to invent your own.
11. Telling too many friends “yeah yeah bring whoever you want”
NEVER tell your buddies to bring whoever they want. Your homies are jackals, hyenas, they move in packs. I once found a 50-year-old lady with a dog in my kitchen. I hadn’t invited any 50-year-old lady and I don’t have a dog.
The trick: be firm and don’t be afraid to say “That’s a +1 and that’s it” to your friends, they’ll understand.
12. Put your beer next to the computer
Yes, we know, you JUST wanted to change the song. Unfortunately your drunk guy elbow spilled your beer on the 1200 ball macbook and now the only music he makes is the slow melody of his agony.
The trick: ban glasses next to the “music station” and wrap your computer in cellophane.
13. Fall Asleep
Perhaps the most serious, most unforgivable error. Falling asleep is like signing your death warrant, even if you tell yourself it’s “just 5 minutes to rest your eyes”. Your party is definitely dead and your homies won’t be shy about shaving your eyebrows, drawing dicks on your forehead or cramming all the living room furniture on your lap.
The trick: no drugs, because it is condemned by law, on the other hand a little coffee, a little Red Bull or quite simply the desire, the desire to live.
14. Bring back some rosé
No matter what, even if it’s summer, but if you know a girl who only drinks that and it will make her happy, don’t buy rosé. Especially if it’s shit or better, rosé in a cubi. The stomachache of the red with the headache of the white, that’s what the rosé drunk in the evening has in store for you.
The trick: do not take rosé. It’s clear ?
15. Leave your phone unattended
If you don’t want to find yourself a FAUVE fan on Facebook with the last status “Jaim le cacaaaa lol”, keep your phone close to you, it’s better (yes this joke is totally outdated but drunkenness won’t attenuate the corny humor of your guests).
The trick: if you’re already a fan of Fauve, don’t panic, your laptop can stay on the coffee table without any problem.