The French language is really a beautiful filth. Yes, yes, I assure you. When you see the number of books on rules that are completely abstruse and force people to make common misspellings of simple words like “welcome”, it gives an idea of the extent of the problem. And by leafing through the formidable work of Arnaud Hoedt and Jérôme Piron, we discover that French spelling is a vast joke illustrating marvelously our schizophrenia (compared to the fact that we are very proud to have a spelling full of nonsense, but that we still make mistakes in all the words).
1. The plurals in “x” are an error in reading the texts of copyist monks
Historically, we see that the plural was often written with a “us” as for example in the word “hair”. Except that the monks were lazy and copied “x” instead of “us” to go faster, which gave “chevex”. The problem is that the academicians who wanted to fix the spelling did not catch the confusion and believed that the abbreviation of “us” was an “x” (at the same time we can’t really blame them ) suddenly they added a “u” in front of the “x” (which gave “cheveuus”), and therefore the famous “hair” with the abbreviation. Technically we therefore have the right to write “hair”; it is historically valid.
As for the owls, cabbages, pebbles and knees, there is nothing in the story to justify why those take an “x”. Nothing.
2. “Lighten” takes two “l”s while “heavier” only one
Clearly it’s not by understanding the meaning of the words that you will begin to understand how they are written.
3. There are two “r” in “cart” and only one in “cart”
Yet we are talking about a similar object that a priori have the same root? But no. We decided instead that common sense was bullshit and that we were going to do more than bitch shots at all the corners of words.
4. The sound /s/ can be spelled 12 different ways while the letter “s” can be pronounced only three ways
Yes, if I swear we will demonstrate together: s (syphilis), ss (chiasse), c (foreskin), ç (that), sc (discern), t (ejaculation), x (six), z ( quartz), th (forsythia), sth (asthma), cc (suction), sç (nodded). And conversely if you cross the letter “s”, you will only have three pronunciation options: /s/, /z/ or mute. Basically, for a single sound there are twelve ways to write it and only three to pronounce it. Explain to me why we are being subjected to such torture.
5. There are two “n’s” to “resonate” and only one “n” to “resonate”
We obviously continue our quest for nonsense on the highway of the absurd.
6. The word “style” takes a “y” even though it comes from the Latin “stilus”
Oh yeah my mouth.
7. We write “noise” with a “t” (as in “bruiter”), but why do we write “abri” without “t” (when we say “abriter”)?
And that also applies to the words “edit” or “credit” that we write “edit” or “credit”. The logic is clearly not palpable.
8. Write the word “ten” with an “x” (which is pronounced /s/) while we write “ten” with a “z” and “tenth” with an “x” which is pronounced /z /
We can even speak of inconsistency at this stage but of a spelling scam on weak minds. How can anyone find it cool and wonderful to have such stupid spelling rules? I rebel.
9. The words “constrain”, “constrain” and “restrict” are spelled differently even though they all come from the Latin “stringere”.
A Latin root which, however, has nothing to do with the word “string”.
10. Write the word “weight” with a “d” when it comes from the Latin “pensum”
In fact, it serves Latin lessons, especially to justify our right to make mistakes.
11. The spelling of the word “sir” is just an insult to decorum.
It is indeed the only word in the language where the sound /eu/ is written both “on” and “eur” in one and the same word, which pushes the limits of orthographic sondeputerie.
12. All French consonants can be silent except “j”, “k” and “v”
Examples arousing a lot of hate: the c of “tobacco”, the b of “boldness”, the d of “blond”, the f of “eggs”, the g of shampoo, the l of “parsley”, the m of ” damned”, the n of “boredom” (yes, you just have to choose one of the two), the p of “plaster” (or just “sheet”), the q of “Jacques”, the r of “sir” , the s of “success”, the t of “valet”, the w of “bungalow”, the x of “cabbage” the z of “nose” and finally the h of… everything.
13. We write “whistle” with two “f” and “whisper” with a single “f”
14. We write “currant jelly” and “currant jam” (with an “s”)
Well that’s really a bastard, I know few people who will take you back if you make the mistake. The explanation is however very logical: in redcurrant jam we see redcurrants, and not in jelly, which is why we can write it in the singular. Well let’s see it’s still not complicated bunch of idiots.
15. There is no logic in writing “the poops I ate” (with an “s”) and “I ate the poops” (without “s”)
This damn direct object story really fucked us up on a moral level. This is again the result of a copyist monk’s trick. Because when he was writing “The poops I ate”, the COD precedes the verb, so it is easy to agree with the verb since the COD is in front of it. On the other hand, when he had to write “I ate the other day, on a beautiful summer night, seized with a thirst for curiosity blablablablablabla (…eight pages…) the cacas”, he couldn’t know right away if what was going to be eaten was plural. In short, because of this bullshit, we decided that the agreement was made when the COD was before the verb and not after. Thanks monks.