Top 15 of Macron’s next statements to seduce left-wing voters

So I know, the first round of the 2022 presidential election disappointed you a lot. You cried tears of blood, you screamed into your pillow and you tore banknotes screaming ” Why ?? Why be so corrupt?? ». A second round without the left is like Bailey without ice cubes: zero. But don’t worry, to compensate, Emmanuel Macron has promised to take plenty of left-wing measures if he is elected. So here is excluded his next declared to the press which will end up convincing the voters of the left to put their ballot in the ballot box in his favor.

1. “No, but in real life, organic in the canteen and a little vegetarian from time to time, it wouldn’t hurt our kids that much. Marinated tofu is super good when you know how to cook it .”

2. “Okay feminists, I have to tell you something, I’ve completely fooled you for 5 years. Schiappa and Darmanin are comedians, we pranked you to see everything you could bear. And frankly, hats off, you are tough so to reward you, I offer you equal pay everywhere. It’s a gift.”

3. “Well, actually, I’ve thought about it a lot and I think that retirement at over 60 is a bit too much! It’s true, it takes time to improve your fishing skills, so you might as well start fishing. as soon as possible. Pikes can’t wait!”

4. “Really, who do you want as Prime Minister? Tell me, because I’m happy to make you happy. Mélenchon? Come on, it’s good!”

5. “Well, the first 5 years were to calm down those right-wing jerks, now the next 5 are for you guys”

6. “You were right from the start, I shit in the glue with transport. From now on, I offer an electric bike to everyone and I ban private jets.”

7. “How did I say that we had to work more?? But nooo not at all what I meant was to work more in better conditions, like being better paid while switching to the 32-hour week . Frankly that you believed that of me, limit it offends me.

8. “My favorite drink? The 8.6 of course”

9. “I was thinking of passing the APL to 1000 balls for everyone, does that seem enough to you? Otherwise we can say outright 1500 huh, the important thing is that you have the means to fully live your student life, that’s everything that matters to me!”

10. “I have to confess something to you, me Blanquer, I couldn’t feel it from the start. So you know what, to make up for his bullshit, I’m going to spin 3500 balls of minimum monthly salary to all the teachers. And knock, in his face!”

11. “Yes, ok, cannabis, I wasn’t really into it at first, but today I want to think about all our students in literature and history-geography, only idiots don’t change their minds. And then between us, who says no to a little fart from time to time;)))”

12. “I pretty much agree with Poutou, capitalism is good, we’ve had our fill. When you want, we swap our houses for the next school year. And while we’re at it, I’m going also nationalize the motorways, because it’s fine to pay 56€ for Paris-Bordeaux.”

13. “Good news, I’ve decided to extend the youth culture pass to the entire population. At least that’s enough for you to be able to buy the complete Bridgerton saga.”

14. “Come on, can I give you two extra weeks of paid vacation? Honestly, we deserve it after all the shitty years we’ve been through.”

15. “No, but if I was also friends with the hunters, it was to create a bond with them. Now that they think we’re friends, I’m going to be able to fuck them from the inside, they won’t do anything. see it coming.”

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