Who do you spend your best moments with? Who is the only friend who accompanies you when you go to see porn? Who do you watch all your best series with? Who is the only companion in your ridiculous Wikipedia searches? A friendship like that, it talks, brothel.
1. Turn it off often
Instead of leaving it on standby during your 3 week vacation in Burma, banana.
2. Take care of the ventilation
Stop leaving your computer lying around on your lap or on sheets. And install something to control the level of ventilation, like Speedfan. And regularly clean the ventilation inlets. And, yes, then I’ll stop ordering you around.
3. Never leave it below 10% battery
The battery is damaged when it drops below 10%. So it’s better to plug it in. Logical, what.
4. Clean it regularly
The best is to use a can of dry air, especially to clean the ventilation system. Otherwise, the keyboard and the screen can also be cleaned, it never hurts.
5. Give him kisses
And talk to him nicely. There’s no point yelling at him, even in binary.
6. Watch out for antivirus
Well, you must have an up-to-date antivirus. But there are plenty of antiviruses that are actually malware and install a lot of crap on the computer. A priori, if you are under 65, you know all that.
7. Transport it in a suitable bag
Otherwise, it may be damaged during transportation. The best is to opt for a solid briefcase, but which does not look too much like a computer case, otherwise it will quite quickly be the preferred target of pickpockets and we know that they are bad, pickpockets, huh ?
8. Keep it away from waves and magnets
Like don’t enter the Vortex Nuclear Reactor in the D3 Flagship Command Post with your Dell.
9. Check what you download
In particular attachments from wealthy senders located in Africa who are experiencing economic difficulties from which you can extract them.
10. Regularly defragment the hard drive
Yes, it still happens. You know, when you try to erase your drunken lascivious dance from the night before, you’re doing your brain good; the computer is the same, it sometimes needs to free up memory to look at itself in the mirror.
11. Don’t confide it to the drunk guy at a party.
Since the keyboard is the gateway to the processor, the drunk guy with a beer in his hand might just be the gateway to the broken computer.
12. Do not leave it in the sun
Even if he insists on sunbathing, leaving his computer under the window in the middle of the sun is taking the risk that overheating will permanently damage its circuits.
13. Use Peripherals
Always to avoid overheating, it is recommended to use an external mouse and keyboard, otherwise the palms dripping with sweat will spread on the keyboard which is the gateway, as we said, to the processor, et tutti quanti ad libitum.
14. Do not hesitate to restart it
A computer accumulates lots of errors that slow it down. By restarting it regularly, we empty its memory of its errors and, in addition, we give it a rebirth experience which should not be disgusting.
15. Don’t put anything on your laptop
The screen is fragile and sensitive to shocks. So it’s best not to leave books lying around on his computer while he’s comatose, on standby for three weeks, on a soft surface where he’s overheating.