There are plenty of things you dare not do for fear of looking like someone super weird; singing alone in the street, for example, or going to a school fair without knowing any children. There are also illegal things you do without knowing it, like feeding pigeons, but worst of all, it’s all those things you do when you know it’s forbidden. Why ? Because it is practical or even for the pleasure of the vice.
I’ll spare you the three classics: crossing at a red pedestrian light, smoking and drinking when you’re a minor and downloading content illegally. I know, you know, we know.
1. Do not stop 3 seconds at STOP
My driving instructor has told me a thousand times: you don’t slip a STOP. But at the same time, when you’re all alone on a country road, it’s just too tempting.
2. Eat something before you buy it
You wander through the shelves of the supermarket, you fill your trolley with packets of biscuits and before arriving at the checkout, you open one because you really have the slab. You know full well that it’s forbidden but hey, you’ll pay the same price anyway.
3. Use the neighbour’s wifi
You’ve been struggling with wifi for almost 6 months and your nice neighbor didn’t think to put a code on his box called “Freebox_CestMoiLePatron”. Why not enjoy it ? So of course, the law provides for a three-year prison sentence and a fine of 45,000 euros, but hey, YOLO.
4. Clicking the wrong button on the supermarket scale
You want to buy porcini mushrooms. The problem is that porcini mushrooms are really expensive for things that grow in the ground. So, you innocently click on “champignons de Paris” on the supermarket scale. It’s not good, but too bad.
5. Fraud transport
On October 1, like every year, my Navigo card expires. And like every year, I obviously didn’t think to recharge it. Am I going to stand in line at the ticket office for an hour with all the other morons who made the same mistake as me? Surely not.
6. Climb through the back door of the bus
Climbing through the back door of the bus does not necessarily mean defrauding the bus. You can just get on while the passengers get off through the same door, scan your pass and grab the last seat before everyone else. It’s petty, but it’s the law of the strongest.
7. Urinate on public roads
Urinating in the street is dirty and not cool for local residents. But when you’ve been walking for 45 minutes without finding a public bathroom, all your dignity disappears.
8. Touching while there is a “Do Not Touch” sign
Normally, it is children who are attracted by the forbidden but strangely, nothing makes me want to walk on the lawn more than a sign that forbids it.
9. Open a letter addressed to someone else
As I never receive any mail, I open that of the neighbors and I even answer their family’s postcards for them. They take advantage of Corsica and the weather is nice and warm apparently.
10. Leave your Christmas tree in the street
When the Christmas holidays are over, you have to get rid of the tree which has lost all of its needles on the floor. At this point, there are three solutions: go to the recycling center, leave your tree until May or abandon it cowardly on the sidewalk. Many city dwellers prefer the latter solution since my street becomes a small forest every year.
11. Filming someone without their knowledge
Filming someone without their consent is prohibited by law, that’s why image rights exist. But in fact, no one really cares since the funniest videos on the internet are taken without the knowledge of the protagonists (It must remain good-natured of course, no harassment or I will report you to the cops).
12. Having Facebook before 13
In 2008, Facebook became really known in France thanks to its interface translated into French. At that time, children born between 1995 and 2000 absolutely wanted to discover this social network, but it was only accessible from the age of 13. Like little hackers (no), all the children enter a false date of birth to access the grail. Children born after the year 2000 never needed to do this since Facebook had already gone out of fashion when they reached adolescence.
13. Steal urban gear
Without really knowing why, thousands of drunken teenagers have already decorated their rooms with road signs and STOP signs. It’s something you have to stop doing when you’re no longer a student, but obviously not everyone knows about it.
14. Not picking up dog poop
People who do this are no better than people who throw their cigarette butts on the ground. I despise you with all my being.
15. Cheating at the baccalaureate
I know it’s confusing but I know too many people who have cheated in the baccalaureate. I want to say it’s bad but in truth, congratulations to you because the stress must have been really intense. (Just kidding, don’t, it’s wrong).