“Gnagnagnagna the French language cé tro duuur, ouin ouin ouin, I kompran nothing. » Ah, it’s good! Stop looking at your navel and finding excuses to justify your shortcomings, a little! It’s not just us who speak a complicated language, huh. Even in English, there are some subtleties. Like, words that sound a lot alike, but become an insult when spelled or pronounced incorrectly. Think carefully before ordering a coke on the terrace… Simple advice.
1. Beach and bitch
Beach : the beach.
Bitch : “bitch”.
“I love going to the beach. » (I like going to the beach.) : a very nice activity.
“I love going to the bitch. » : a slightly more illegal activity in France.
2. Coke and Cock
Coke : a Coca cola.
Cock : a dick.
“I would like a cokeplease. (I would like a coke, please) »: a polite way to ask a waiter for a very sweet soda.
“I would like a cockplease. (I would like a dick, please) »: a very polite way, although a little too direct, to ask for a penis, on the terrace.
3. Count and cunt
Count : count.
Cunt : “pussy”, “bitch”, “asshole”, “cunt”
“Let’s count from one to ten! (Let’s count from 1 to 10!) » : can easily be asked by a teacher to his CP class.
“Let’s cunt from one to ten! (Let’s go shit from 1 to 10!) ” : it does not make sense. Unless you’re a group of 10, you each have an assigned number, and you go on a group poo. Quite rare.
4. Wore and whore
wore : irregular past tense of the verb “wear”, which means “to carry”.
whore : “bitch”.
“She wore her bag. (She carried her bag.) ” : basic.
“She whore her bag. (She prostitutes her bag.) »: are we talking about a sackerel network? (Mackerel, sac-ereau, do you have it?)
5. Burgers and Buggers
burger : bah… A hamburger, what. Yum yum.
bugger : « motherfucker! »
“Oh, so cool! Two burgers for the price of one! (Oh, so cool! Two burgers for the price of one!) » : I admit, too cool.
“Oh, so cool! Two buggers for the price of one! (Oh, so cool! Two motherfuckers for the price of one!) » : welcome to my life, in fact.
6. Peace and piss
Peace : the peace.
piss : to piss, “pisseuse”, “pisseux”.
” Peace and love. (Peace and love.) » : two pretty things for a sweeter life.
” piss and love. (Piss and love.) “: I do not see why the two could not work together. It’s fun to pee, huh.
7. Nub and nob
A nub : a button or a node.
A nob : one yard.
“You’ve got a nub between your eyes! (You have a pimple between your eyes!) “: well yeah, I know, asshole.
“You’ve got a nob between your eyes! (You have a rod between your two eyes!) » : are you talking about my nose like that, asshole?
8. Trump and Tramp
trump : former American president, infamous racist, misogynistic and closed-minded character. (Yeah, we denounce, yeah. Is it Topi-Part or what?)
Tramp : if it is not used in a vulgar way, the word designates a homeless person. Otherwise, it also means “slut” or “bitch”.
Well, finally… Trump/Tramp, it’s kind of the same thing, isn’t it? (COMEEEEEZ, IT DENOUNCES AGAIN!)
9. Dig and dick
dig : American slang word for “kiffer”.
dick : a ziziiii.
“She digs her party! (She likes her evening!) » : too happy for her.
“She dicks her party! (She penis/fucks her party!) ” : that does not make any sense…
10. Goal and butt
Aim : subordinating conjunction “but”.
butt : ass.
“I love you, aim… (I love you but…) » : ouch. It smells bad. It stinks of a breakup, even. Courage.
“I love you, butt… (I love you, my ass…) » : very important to love your ass. It’s good.
11. Sheet and shit
sheet : sheet.
Shit : shit.
“Can I have a sheet of paper? (Can I have a sheet of paper?) ” : but of course ! Rather A4 or Bristol board?
“Can I have a hash of paper? (Can I have some paper shit?) ” : Nope. Talk better, and we’ll see.
On the other hand, you may very well need a sheet of paper to clean your butt after putting your hash. There it works.
12. Dickens and Dickheads
OKKKKKK is a bit far-fetched, but pronounce them, and you’ll see that when spoken, it’s still pretty close.
Dickens : great English novelist, notably author of Oliver Twist.
Dickheads : dickheads / dick heads.
“I’m a pretty big fan of Dickens ! (I’m a big Dickens fan!) “: was it your baccalaureate L?
“I’m a pretty big fan of Dickheads ! (I’m a huge cock head fan!) ” : each his own.
13. Honey and horny
Honey : ” Honey “. Also used as a silly little nickname, “hey honey” is like “hi, honey / my sugar duck”.
Horny : slang term to describe someone hot from uc.
“Hey, honey ! (Hello Darling !) »: hello my little golden candy cane, how are you?
“Hey, horny ! (Hi, hot ass!) “: WOW WOW WOW, WE CALM DOWN DIRECTLY.
14. Tips and tits
Tips : advice/tip.
Tits : boobs.
“Can I give you a tips ? (Can I give you some advice?) “: oh well yes, tell me.
“Can I give you a tits ? (Can I give you a boob?) “: oh well no thank you, keep them, don’t worry.
15. Sound of the beach and son of a bitch
Sound of the beach : the sound of the beach.
Son of a bitch : “son of a bitch”.
“I love this sound of a beach. (I love that beach sound.) » : don’t you rather talk about the sound of the waves? In this case, you have to say “waves” and not “beach”. Small tits, like that! Tip, sorry.
“I love this son of a bitch. (I love that son of a bitch.) » : ah bah yes, you seem to like it, yes. Without a doubt. It doesn’t look toxic at all, all that.