If there is one thing that the French do badly, it is certainly to be careful with their hygiene. Yes, because as shown by an Ifop study on the hygiene of Europeans after the Covid, nearly one in five French people only change their underwear twice a week. Yes, yes, you read that right. But you’ll tell me, hard to blame someone when you see the dirty stuff we’ve all already allowed ourselves to do. It’s no use denying it, not to us friends, not to us.
1. Pissing in the bath just before going out
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We’re definitely on the cut above pissing in the shower (which really isn’t a dirty thing, just a green thing). But look, if it can save a toilet flush and warm up the water a bit before you go out, boarf…
2. Forgetting to change underwear
In addition to the voluntary oversights of lazy types, there are also the involuntary oversights of people who get dressed, in the morning for example, and who forget to put on new underwear in the rush. Know that we forgive you, it’s not your fault, you didn’t do it on purpose.
3. Go to bed without washing after returning from the evening
Let anyone who has never experienced this moment of intense laziness, combined with a high blood alcohol level, stopping the slightest desire to go to bed clean, throw the first stone at me. And then the bad smells of the next day are a good reminder of the excesses of the day before so that you never want to start again (at least until the following week).
4. Eating something that fell on questionable ground
In these cases, it is not the 5 second rule but the 3 second rule that applies (but yes, it does, what a question). Enjoy your meal.
5. Putting on already stinky sportswear
Someone dare tell me he never put on that sweaty tank top he used the day before to go running because he didn’t put his laundry in time to get a clean one. I wait.
6. Stealing a friend’s toothbrush
You’ve seen each other pee, you’ve shared the same bed and he/she knows all about your sex life, so after all, why not share some saliva and leftover kebabs? Are we friends or are we not friends??
7. Take a crapper call
In vraaaaaaai, as long as it’s not professional… Nah?
8. Cut your nails and leave the clippings lying around
It gets really messy when you keep coming back to cut your nails in the same place and make little graveyard piles of clippings that you clean out once every two months. But no one does that, right? Whether.. ?
9. Pissing over your friends’ ten other pees to save a toilet flush
After the toothbrush frankly, we can afford everything.
10. Not washing your hands after sneezing
This is what happens when your sneeze is louder than you thought and you don’t have a tissue nearby (and the sink is too far away for your laziness to move to go away). A little blow on the jeans and we don’t talk about it anymore. Who are we to judge?
11. Farting in public
The trick is to always pretend to find out who it may be from to ward off suspicion. We learn by experimenting.
12. Feeling a little vomit coming up when you want to burp
Quite proud to finally lift the taboo on this subject of rototo which goes a bit too far. Come on, admit it, you too have already swallowed a few drops of vomit in scred after burping a little too hard. We’re all human, you know.
13. Putting toothpaste juice on the floor while walking around the apartment brushing your teeth
As brushing your teeth is certainly the most fun activity to do, although it only lasts three minutes, you have to take care of yourself, hence the idea of a little digestive stroll. Unfortunately, this hobby sometimes leads to accidents on the beautiful herringbone parquet floor of the mother-in-law. OUCH.
14. Suck in very hard air to unclog your nose and bring up everything in it
Also valid with the variant “Unclog your nose by blocking your nostril to blow like a footballer”. I let you choose your favorite.
15. Get booger off with your finger to save a handkerchief
There are no small savings, and when it comes to a very hard mickey whose location we know perfectly, there is no squirming, fingers are allowed. Good on the other hand, wash your hands well after a bunch of sagouins.
Bouuuh the big filthy, cover yourself with shame, we point the finger at you, bunch of filthy filth!