According to a study by Stanford University, our first name could influence both our social life and our cognitive development. The researchers based themselves on the empirical study of 70,000 people from all over the world, to whom they gave IQ tests before creating correlations between the results and their first name: hell, it seems that certain first names predispose their carrier to have a very low IQ.
As a reminder, an “average” IQ is between 90 and 110.
As a reminder, we may have gone a little out of reality in this top because as you know we like humor and jokes.
1. Jonathan – average IQ of 80
So it’s proven, the Jonathans aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer. With an average IQ of 81, we can say that they are not arrows. The researchers, if they do not draw a hasty conclusion, believe that the first name Jonathan does not have enough phonemes for the process of early cognitive development of the child to take place correctly.
The first name we recommend instead: Jean Jacques.
2. Aline – average IQ of 82
Again, the Alines have an average IQ that is well below average. For the researchers, the origin of this delay is to be compared to the repeated exposure to the song Aline by Christophe from an early age which would push the children to “close in on themselves. »
The first name we recommend instead: No-line.
3. Sarah – average IQ of 82
It is the cognitive difference between reality and projection in the Princess Sarah cartoon that would have prevented the little Sarahs from acquiring normal brain functions. Hence an ignition delay, to put it simply. And since we like to make fun of Sarahs, we also have the best jokes on the first name Sarah.
The first name we recommend instead: Katherine.
4. Herve – average IQ of 83
The Hervés suffered a trauma at birth as soon as they became aware of their first name. This integrated trauma, the child is quite unable to manage it and he compensates by an emotional closure which makes him impermeable to the world.
The first name we recommend instead: RV. At least that way we waste less time writing it.
5. Textbook – average IQ of 84
A previous study, carried out in 1991, did not give such results. It is undoubtedly the media exposure of Manuel Valls which contributed to the cerebral downgrading of Manuel whose score now does not reach the average. But let’s not try to explain, that would amount to excusing.
The first name we recommend instead: Patrick.
6. Louise – average IQ of 85
Neither are the Louises helped by nature. With an average IQ of 85, they are unable to perform complex actions, such as coordinating their hands. A phenomenon attributable, according to the scientific literature, to the abundance of vowels present in the first name Louise, which would encourage the child to express himself without a consonant.
The first name we recommend instead: we advise you rather appropriate nicknames such as “loulou the maggot”, “loustic”, “louloutte”, “loupiotte”, “lou ragan” etc.
7. Emma – average IQ of 86 too
By decreasing the first name Emmanuelle, we also decrease the intelligence of the one who bears it. This is the conclusion put forward by researchers who believe that the use of diminutives as a first name is likely to encourage children to stagnate at the CM2 level all their lives.
The first name we recommend instead: Emmo. Yes well listen it’s like that, it’s not me who makes the rules.
8. Olive tree – average IQ of 86.5
If the Oliviers have such a low IQ, it is because they are caught between Olivier Minne’s model and that of the tree, the olive tree, two projections of themselves which do not encourage them to try to think hard.
The first name we recommend instead: Oliver. Pretty much saves your career.
9. Carolina – average IQ of 86.5
The Carolines, unlike the Caroles, would tend to remain stuck in adolescence because of the deeply infantile character of their first name. Hence a delay in development which means that most Carolinas only reach their emotional and intellectual maturity around the age of 75 when they have not yet passed the weapon on the left.
The first name we recommend instead: Carol, so. Or Carolina. In short, find variants, I’m not going to do it for you.
10. Timothy – average IQ of 87
The same reasoning prevails for the Timothy. Confined by their first name to a child’s role, they continue, after the age of 20, to think that people on television and stuffed animals are real people with whom they can forge links and nurture conversations.
The first name we recommend instead: Enguerrand.
11. Julien – average IQ of 87
As for Jonathan, the lexical poverty of the first name Julien is at the origin of the difficulty, for the children thus named, to learn by heart the table of 7 (although it is indeed considered as the most difficult of the multiplication tables ).
The first name we recommend instead: Gerald.
12. Chloe – average IQ of 88
If the Chloé’s IQ is close to the average, they are nonetheless, according to the researchers, people with greatly reduced intelligence. For example 95% of Chloe never understand anything about the series, you always have to remind them of what happened in the previous episode and gnagnagna. Big waste of time.
The first name we recommend instead: Zulmee.
13. Gabriel – average IQ of 89
The Gabriel’s IQ is directly correlated with their propensity to have curly blond hair (as shown in the photo below). According to a very serious study by the prestigious University of Ottawa, 79% of the Gabriels would wear angel earrings, which would make them easy prey for all biting aunts. From then on, frightened by the outside world, the Gabriels would take refuge in their inner world from which they would only extract themselves to eat their poo.
The first name we recommend instead: Thor.
14. Anthony – average IQ of 90
If Anthony has a limited IQ, he nevertheless manages to reach the low average and we congratulate him, because things are not going very quickly in there. The Anthonys indeed have a natural tendency to eat their boogers which leads to infantile malnutrition, which leads to a major deficit in intelligence.
The first name we recommend instead: Gaviscon.
15. Josephine – average IQ of 90
The Josephines have no guardian angel and struggle to perform simple actions, such as spreading butter on bread. A psychomotor problem to be compared, no doubt, to the difficulty of accepting a simple life when one bears the first name of Empress.
The first name we recommend instead: Josee. Right, Josee.