At one time we judged the quality of an actor by his acting, his presence on the screen, the range of emotions he could transcribe; then we started judging according to the oscar or caesar-type awards he was getting. Today we have a whole new way to recognize good actors and big dummies: those who failed everything have never played in a Marvel movie. We are therefore going to point the finger at these losers of the big screen together, those who will not have a career for long.
1. Timothée Chalamet
You can say what you want about this actor, like he’s handsome and he plays in dune but in the meantime he has never worn a lycra suit in a Marvel movie. In two years we won’t talk about it anymore.
2. Josiane Balasko
Expected for a moment to put on the Black Widow costume, Josiane Balasko finally saw the role pass under her nose when Scarlett Johansson was preferred to her. A blow for the actress who does not have to be ashamed of her career in France.
3. Kad Merad
Maybe he is one of the favorite actors of the French but for the moment we still haven’t seen him jumping from roof to roof in New York and making jokes to Nick Fury. What a pity, with Olivier they would make incredible Ant-Man and the Wasp.
Huge star who needs no introduction, which is a bit rude, Julia Roberts has never played in a Marvel movie, and it’s a shame when you know that she can play absolutely anything, even the banjo. She would therefore have been ideal in Ultron as you had guessed.
5. Daniel Craig
“Gnagnagna I am James Bond and the guy from Millenium I write articles and I wear tuxedos”. No chance of survival against Thanos, this big loser who will soon be forced to accept roles in Spanish telenovelas since he no longer does anything.
It’s nice to save the world in Impossible mission or fight against mummies, but no one saw him team up with Captain America and it’s much better that way. Like those great movies without Tom Cruise. (We laugh but it seems that he will appear in Doctor Strange 2).
7. Penelope Cruz
What a pity, what a disappointment: she who nevertheless played in Pirates of the Caribbean and should therefore have its entries at disney still hasn’t gotten a role in the MCU. Why ? Because she only shoots with Almodovar and this moron refuses to direct a film Hulk if it doesn’t take place in Spain and isn’t about twisted family dramas.
8. Franck Dubosc
He would however be perfect in Tony Stark but no, no Marvel for Franck who has nevertheless made more films Camping that there have been movies in the MCU. Not the same atmosphere, and especially not the same costumes.
9. Joaquin Phoenix
The “American Frederic Diefenthal” as he calls himself narrowly missed his chance to play Doctor Strange before Cumberbatch nabbed the part. He was therefore obliged to take that of the Joker at DC but hey… Apart from an Oscar, it was not a great performance.
10. Uma Thurman
Yet the actress has proven herself by farting in the movies Kill Bill and we were therefore entitled to say that his imminent arrival as a Winter Soldier was quite feasible, but no. They gave the role to a guy we don’t know. Great, good Marvel spirit.
11. Matthew McConaughey
What’s the point of playing in films where you have to cry and laugh in front of a screen like in Interstellar the shitty movie if you are not able to succeed in a casting in a Marvel film? Yet Disney had offered him to do the voice of Thor’s horse but he refused. Big melon the guy.
12. Terry Crews
He can play anything and that’s normal, it’s Terry Crews. Yet he prefers to be a cop who eats yogurts in Brooklyn 99 than a mega-heavy superhero in a good old Marvel. It’s up to him if he prefers to mess around with sub-roles but that’s frankly a shame.
13. Louis De Funes
He would have been PERFECT in the role of the Vulture but it is impossible for the rather obvious reason that he is dead. It was however the Oscar assured for him and for Bourvil if he had accepted the role of Spiderman as it was planned at the base but no, we will never see this masterpiece. Shitty world.
14. Charlize Theron
She’s one of the best actresses in the world, she could play Nick Fury’s spaceship, the Avengers tower or any of the Marvel characters and yet we still haven’t given her a role. There on the other hand it is scandalous because it would be perfect in all the roles.
15. Keanu Reeves
Instead of doing this shit Matrix 4 Keanu Reeves would have done better to accept any role in the MCU, even that of a back dude who has no texts and gets screwed by Captain America. No messing around it was really bad Matrix 4no ?