The Twitter account Disruptive Humans of Linkedin lists and retrieves very corporate pearls published by guys on Linkedin. Between unbearable life lessons and permanent Franglais, there is plenty to do and moreover, totally hate anything that looks like a professional commitment.
1. A beautiful story
A story that of course never happened, with a moral that, if it is entirely commendable, is as smooth as the exchanges of two individuals newly in love. In short, here is a nice cloth with which we could wipe our SIF if it were not digital.
2. Uphill disruptive maintenance
Perfect balance between the use of ellipses and motivational emojis. Result: there, immediately, we have a big nausea. Maybe she’ll go for a little bike ride. #WeNAgive upNever
3. Too cute
Our Why to us is: fuck, but why use your own children to invent stories that never happened in real life, for the sole purpose of getting a boost on LinkedIn? Attention, the answer may be in the question.
4. Children have so much to teach us…
How to make reality more flexible? By imagining his own daughter as a salesperson and by calling people “prospects” as if the only goal of a life was to consume a maximum, and especially to make consume a maximum. Poor little one, we hope she doesn’t become like dad.
5. Welcome to my network
WELCOME. IN. MY. NETWORK. The little one is barely born when he’s already embarked on the LinkedIn way of life, in the deep end of people who polish themselves while looking at their turnover or their boxes full of emails. Run away, my boy, there is still time.
6. Full remote, shipping and Bahamas
Beep beep beep beep beeep. It’s the sound of our electrocardiogram when we read content as flexible and disruptive as this. In any case, we can’t wait to write tops from Auvergne when we’re in full remote. And that there will be Internet in Auvergne.
If pneumonia leads to these kinds of posts on LinkedIn, then we will do everything we can to try to eradicate this disease.
8. Money, always money
Already, we hope that she is really the only one to be “turned off”, because it’s still stupid to say it in English when it’s even shorter in French. For the rest, we completely agree with her: what nerve to want to earn a living, and then what? Soon they will want complementary health? Paid vacation? Bunch of lazy people.
9. A hunter who knows how to hunt
The guy still ends his message with “Okay? Shocked? because he must suspect that his behavior is a little annoying. Yet he posted his post anyway, because he also knows that LinkedIn is full of people like him.
10. You you my you
Throughout the text, we wonder where he wants to lead us, and the end lives up to our expectations: it takes us to the deepest abyss of disgust. This is the supreme level of the start-up nation.
11. Ah Crocodiles
Behind every successful man, there’s a dangerous psychopath capable of knocking you down out of greed? In any case, we can add this story to the long list of those that never happened.
The prize for the worst father of the year is awarded to this gentleman who prefers to first point out his daughter’s mistakes instead of encouraging her and then draw a life lesson from them with inspiring hashtags.
Take some “Look at me how tolerant I am! » and add a pinch of “I speak of an African turban as if Africa were a single culture”add to all this a strong dose of “I like to give moral lessons”and you have a perfect LinkedIn post.
14. Lying is wrong
We leave you with this masterpiece that mixes lies and vile morality. Ah, LinkedIn, you do so much good to this world…