As much as there are plenty of survival tricks for when you’re clumsy, there’s not much to do when you’re in bad luck, apart from burning eucalyptus leaves continuously in your toilet . To find out if you are one of those people who have no ass, ever, and who must prepare their will as soon as possible, read this (super) top. After two points, you can consider yourself under a curse. Good luck getting rid of it.
1. Despite all the money you spend on insurance, you still have trouble
It’s phew because you are far-sighted all the same, you always take the most expensive insurance so as not to be fooled and yet you continue to be the victim of transport cancellations, unknown illnesses, improbable falls and breakage of all kinds. Even with the most coverage possible, you would be the victim of a natural disaster who cannot receive help. We’re a little heartbroken for you.
2. No friend wants to go on vacation with you anymore.
At the same time, the last time, your tent flew away, you had a flat tire with the rental car in the middle of the forest, it rained all week and your plane was five hours late. Plus you got food poisoning after eating a piece of coconut.
3. The physio sees you more than his own family
He could treat you with his eyes closed because he knows how your body works by heart and he often takes you as an example to train his young trainees. One day, you didn’t sprain your ankle for two weeks, and he called you because he was so worried.
4. Not a week goes by that you don’t say “You don’t know what happened to me…”
You win hands down all the trivia contests. We are borderline a little jealous (but limit, should not push either).
5. You received the Award for the most fishy person in the office
Unfortunately, you didn’t get the raise that came with it because there was flooding in the offices the day of your interview. And your boss has since quit.
6. Your electronic devices never last longer than six months.
You’re not just a victim of your own clumsiness dropping your phone on the floor and breaking the screen after two hours of use. No, your curse means that when you buy an electronic device, it arrives broken, that the irreplaceable parts break up on their own after a few weeks and that it crashes when you go on vacation and you are exposed to 1000 balls.
7. Weird things happen whenever you’re around.
Fires break out, objects disappear, people pass out, food rots in less than a minute and cats throw themselves out of first-floor windows. We don’t want to blame you, but frankly, it’s suspicious, don’t you think…?
8. You have a pentagram tattooed on your forehead.
Prevention is better than cure, and anyway, you’re more than close to avoiding even the smallest of galleys.
9. Crossing black cats and going under ladders doesn’t change your life.
Yours is already so powerful that nothing can make it worse. And while a new curse was to cancel the previous one, because less by less equals more, nothing changes in your life. It remains catastrophic, but stable. No more no less.
10. You receive lucky charms at Christmas and on each of your birthdays.
Horseshoe, protective Greek eye, rabbit’s foot, 17-leaf clover, ladybug breeding… Everything goes, but nothing helps: you’re still in monstrous bad luck.
11. The pharmacist offered you a loyalty card
And you accepted because after all, it’s better to see the positive side of your bad luck, like this sunscreen offered after ten ankle braces purchased.
12. When you enter the subway people get out of the train
There are unmistakable signs.
13. No one is surprised by your adventures anymore
Conversely, people are shocked when you say everything went well. Zero respect.
14. People would rather take an Uber than ride in your car.
However, you only had your license after the fifth time with 21 points without knocking down anyone except a trash can, really, incomprehensible. Change friends.