Ahhh Paris… Its Eiffel Tower, its small bistros, its good hot bread, its rats, its armored metros and its pollution… Clearly THE city to visit for a little romantic trip. On the other hand, be wary: before putting your luggage in the capital, know that there are small errors of tourists not to reproduce. We say that for you.
Prefer to climb the Eiffel Tower rather than the Arc de Triomphe
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While from the top of the Eiffel Tower, you can’t even see the Eiffel Tower. Pfft, what’s the point?
Eat near the monuments (or worse: at Café Flore)
No, but isn’t it expensive enough for you, the 7-ball Cokes? Do you really need to pay them 5 bucks more???
Walk around in summer clothes in the middle of December, to take stylish photos
Spoiler alert: it is (very) cold in Paris in winter! Put me a big wool before catching cold, please!
…And feel obligated to wear a beret
“Becoze its so Parisian, youno”. First: few Parisians REALLY wear berets. Few French, even. Second: do you also wear a sombrero in Mexico, a Cordobes in Spain and a Chinese hat in China? It must not be easy to pack your bags.
Buy bread at the supermarket
Even if it means tasting the Grail, freshly entered into the intangible heritage of Unesco (yes, it must be said, all the same!), you might as well do it well and go to a baker, bite into a warm bread, a crunchy crumb and crumb soft as desired. Yum.
Try to visit everything, in a few days
Paris is big (but isn’t it?). Very large. There are monuments. Many monuments. To do everything in a weekend is to rush everything, run a marathon, test all the metro lines, queue for hours, and spend all your PEL. Very relaxing, this little stay.
Getting around by taxi
We know that there is something more attractive than the sardine effect in a can of the Paris metro, but taxis aren’t really any better! Not to mention the rather exorbitant prices, taking a taxi in Paris often means spending long minutes (or even long hours) in traffic jams. There’s more fun to be had, I promise.
…And try to hail him in the middle of an avenue
I grant you, it’s very stylish, very Christmas TV movie, very overbooked wonder boss who doesn’t have time and who runs from one end of Paris to the other, but here you go… You risk spending a few long minutes on the sidewalk if you try to take your taxi this way: in Paris, they normally only stop at dedicated terminals. Yeah, not fun.
Wait for the light to be green to cross
As my cousin Kévin would say, “It’s forbidden to koa le if we can’t break it?” “. Parisian life = fast life, guys. (No, in reality, we are just very stupid and very impatient, and we do not hesitate to put our lives in danger by crossing anyhow, especially if it can give us the opportunity to complain about a car or a bike, hehe. Welcome in Pariiiis!)
Stay in bad boroughs
Once you have seen the Iron Lady, come to the East of Paris! There’s more life, more atmosphere, fewer rich people, more good deals and cheap beers,… In short, let me go quickly from this 16th, and visit the best districts of the capital!
Pay your pint 10 euros
To drink an old, half-warm kro, too. It’s a scam, and you’re right in there.
Walk around phone limply held in hand
Pickpockets in Paris, it’s not a myth guys! Believe me, they will quickly realize that you are an easy pigeon to pluck.
Try to enter your metro ticket in the turnstiles reserved for the navigo pass
If it says “reserved for the navigo pass”, that means that it won’t work without the navigo pass. It’s as stupid as that. So stop insisting and creating queues before you even get to the platform. Please.
Throw padlocks everywhere
Stop with his horrors! Get your names tattooed, and stop spraying us with your love and nonsense here.