Before you go for one of the worst piercings in history (we know you), there are a few things you should know about piercings. Because don’t think that you’ll be able to make holes all over your body and then go back to living your quiet little life 10 minutes later. Your piercings, you will have to cherish them like the prunes of your far Breton and provide for all their needs. It’s investment, so no bullshit. And then when it’s done, you tell us your choice so that we can tell you what your piercing means about you. Yeah, we’re a great moral support, we know.
1. Not respecting healing instructions
Already, I must remind you that it is not an exact science because no one has the same healing capacity and that some piercings have a longer healing time than others (for example a piercing with the nostril takes an average of two weeks to heal, while a tongue piercing takes five weeks and a lobe piercing takes seven weeks). Still, it is very important to really listen to the instructions given to you by your piercer.
Do not hesitate to go there on the disinfection two to three times a day based on physiological saline or neutral pH soap, and to put a little bit of betadine if necessary. Do it as often as necessary until your piercing is completely healed because that’s how you will avoid infections (smart huh).
2. Changing jewelry too early
So yes, overall, the piercing prostheses are not diamonds in the rough, we are more on a small classic ball that fucks the style a little. But it’s better to have 2% less beauty for a few months than to get infections every half hour just because you decided to put on a ring only a week after getting your piercing. So wear your prosthesis regularly if you don’t want your hole to retract and wait for complete healing (minimum two months) before changing jewellery. Your holes will only be better off.
3. Shove his dirty fingers on it to turn it
A piercing should never be touched with the fingers. The idea that you have to turn it to prevent the hole from getting infected is actually totally wrong and causes unnecessary irritation that slows healing time. Add to that all the filthy miasma that wanders on your fingers and that will settle on your piercing when you fiddle with it. Frankly, you don’t want to see the result. Nor to smell it, because hello old pus.
4. Go to the swimming pool or take a bath in the following weeks
As a piercing is similar to a small surgical intervention which leaves an open wound, it is better to avoid tempting the devil by letting this wound soak in the middle of impurities and bacteria. Need I remind you how you can catch warts and yeast infections? So abstain from baths and swimming for a few weeks. We also think about trying not to get pierced during the summer, suddenly. I promise, you can go back to back flips in the pistoche after healing.
5. Exposing yourself to direct sunlight after
When you have a sore, you should not expose it to the sun so that it heals well. Well, it’s the same thing, especially since you can’t count on sunscreen, even at index 50, because it could infect the piercing. So we just avoid the sun, even if it will hurt him, poor thing. He will get over it.
6. Have fun with animals
You may not have a violent cat like three-quarters of the French, but when in doubt, avoid playing hide and seek so that he doesn’t jump on you and rip off your brand new piercings with his claws. We stick to a little kiss here and there. Anyway, it’s not like he gave a shit about you, huh.
7. Missing his check-up appointment
Yes, if your piercer did his job well, he must have told you to come back in about six weeks to see how your piercing (and its work) is doing and check that you don’t have any infection or reaction. It would be silly to miss it knowing that you are not a piercer and therefore have no skills to know if your healing is really going as it should. So we take his little phone, and hop we make an appointment illico presto.
8. Sleep on it
Sleeping on your piercing, especially if it is at ear level, will cause compression between the jewel and the hole and will therefore cause your ear to swell. This will promote infections and slow healing. And frankly, we’re all too lazy to spend two years there, so for our own good, we sleep on the good side, indicated by the piercer.
9. Do piercings in both ears at the same time
Well yes, because good luck sleeping only on your back if you get both ears pierced at the same time. We have experienced better practicality.
10. Eat anything after a mouth piercing
During the first weeks, it is especially necessary to eat things that do not chew too much and drink cold drinks. Sort of like having your wisdom teeth removed. Forget spicy or acidic food, which will cause you great pain, as well as cigarettes and alcoholic beverages which will cause the tongue to swell for a while.
11. Having sex right after a tongue or genital piercing
Or else, it’s that you don’t want to live. Or that you like pain, but I don’t know if I want to know that.
12. Put on super tight clothes/accessories for the first few months
At the risk of creating irritation or even involuntarily tearing out your piercing yourself (and thus experiencing a lot of suffering), we skip skinny pants, ultra-tight belts, hats, towel turbans, music headphones , etc., etc.
13. Using unsuitable jewelry
That’s it, you can finally change jewelry. The rhinestone snakes and the little diamonds are yours. Except that before decorating yourself like a Christmas tree, check the material of the jewelry. Some ears are very sensitive to low quality materials and you may have to buy jewelry from your piercer. Also avoid taking jewelry from a jewelry store because their diameter is generally smaller than that of piercer jewelry. It would therefore be necessary to re-enlarge your hole (and therefore re-heal) if one day you wish to take jewelry from your piercer.
14. Get a piercing with a needle and an ice cube in a friend’s living room
Ok, you definitely want to die.