Living with a cat can have a whole host of benefits for your personal development. But as with all relationships, there can be downsides… even pain… It’s good to talk about it, because you don’t have to be alone in unhappiness. Be aware, however, that in a toxic relationship with a cat, there are unmistakable signs.
1. Even if you have a great love for your relationship, it makes you suffer
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Certainly you take pleasure in stroking it and sharing moments (perhaps too rare) of complicity, but if you have to be honest with yourself… it’s true that this relationship causes you suffering. Especially on your hands… The scratches leave traces that only time can erase…
2. He meows at you for anything and everything
He always asks you for everything. Kibbles, clean litter, getting off the sofa to make room for him… He has clearly created a relationship of dependence with you.
3. He leaves you no more privacy
When you shower, it’s there, when you pee, it’s there, when you sleep, it takes up all the space, when you eat, it’s there. His company is no longer a pleasure, but an insistent presence… heavy…
4. You find it difficult to be yourself in his presence.
You can’t stop talking to him. Even if he doesn’t answer. You can’t stop hugging him. Even if he doesn’t care. Your behavior is clearly impacted by his presence.
5. Overall, you will do everything to avoid getting into a conflict with him
Argue with your cat? Unthinkable. You prefer to say yes to everything.
6. Your relationship rubs off on your friendships and work relationships
You can’t stop showing pictures of him to others even if they didn’t ask you… You talk about him all the time, like he’s always in your head…
7. There is clearly an imbalance in your relationship.
If we lay the cards on the table, it’s pretty obvious that you’re trying a lot more than him in your relationship. You already pay for everything, and then it’s you who serves him his meal, who cleans up his shit… Has your cat ever done something like this for you?
8. You have to hide certain things from him.
He has a very compulsive relationship with food… so you have to hide his pâtés, and his croquettes… You must also hide your leftover food… and your chocolates… and the bread… and the trash so that he’s not going to gut it. You have to pay attention to everything.
9. You feel less and less safe
It’s not that you don’t trust him, no… It’s just that sometimes at night when he’s sitting next to you and watching you sleeping, you don’t feel totally reassured.
10. His needs always come before yours.
Again this story of relational imbalance… If only he could at least question himself… But that, he will never do.
11. Your relationship is never restful.
When you leave him home alone, you know you can expect anything when you get back. Did he piss on the couch? Did he scratch the chair? Did he puke on the carpet? We do not talk enough about the mental load that this represents on a daily basis.
12. You can’t help but make excuses for him.
Even if his behavior is unforgivable in principle, you will always tell yourself that he is a cat after all. A pet. What you wanted. Is it really his fault?
13. You feel a bit stuck in this relationship.
Sure, sometimes you want to dump everything. To let him live his life, find his apartment, meet other people to fully live your freedom yourself. But deep down you know very well that all of this is impossible.