In your life journey, you have probably met wonderful people, beautiful people, assholes, strong-willed people, mysterious people, generous people, and then also much less outstanding people. Bland people, without real interest, who will never leave you with a great memory. Gray people in a multicolored painting. People who cross the world without leaving their mark. And even if they are easy to spot, here are some clues to better recognize them.
1. They “listen to everything”
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There is one ultimate question to compel a bland person to reveal their true identity: just ask them what music they listen to. Every time, she will say that she “listens to everything”, and will perhaps add “rap to classical”, when she does not listen to rap, nor classical, nor anything at all except the 5 hits looping over the radio. This lack of personality gives me shivers of unease.
2. She has the same decor as everyone else
The walls of her house are adorned with the photos you find everywhere: a portrait of Audrey Hepburn, an image of a London telephone booth, and, of course, the famous “lunch on top of a skyscraper”. The pinnacle of blandness.
3. In high school, she had a Nirvana crest on her bag.
While high school is a period when you are still building your personality, this person had already fallen in battle: she will be bland all her life, and that’s it. Note that it also works with the Stones logo crest.
4. She only wears t-shirts with random inscriptions
On his tops, there is always written an uninteresting message such as “Since 1983”, “Corporate” or “Original”. No one knows what it is, and at the same time no one cares.
5. She never offers anything for outings
The bland person is not a driving force: he is a follower. She will always be there at events organized by others, but will never be the cause of anything. It is passivity incarnate.
6. She can’t make a decision
Bland people always have 3 words in their mouths: “As you want”. With them, it is impossible to choose a restaurant, a holiday destination or even the first name of a child. A word of advice: don’t make your life with someone bland, otherwise the mental burden will be yours forever.
7. His Tinder description is “I like to travel, drink beer and meet people”
EVERYONE LIKES TO TRAVEL, DRINK BEER AND MEET. Find something else if you want us to want to date you, because spending 2 hours in a bar with someone so boring is a no-no.
8. His favorite movie is Pulp Fiction
Or Back to the futureWhere Inceptionor Gran Torino. In short, things that everyone loves. The serial version is also true with Game Of Thrones, breaking Bad Where black-mirror. It’s boring.
9. On his CV, his hobbies are: photography, travel and cinema
All recruiters on the planet should immediately throw those resumes in the trash. Then burn the trash. Then find the candidate and make him eat crushed glass.
10. She baked bread during confinement
To “keep busy” because you understand, we were a little bored during the lockdown hehe. DAMN THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY.
11. She watches commercials on TV
Yes, between programs, she stays in front of her television set, a trickle of drool in the corner of her mouth, watching an old guy show us how he takes off t-shirts that he himself has just stained thanks to a new bullshit stain remover. I want to die.
12. She goes to bed at 10:30 p.m. and falls asleep immediately
All this after watching another popular series that everyone has already seen, like Money Heist. Damn that makes me want to stub my little toe against a 50+ story building.
13. She lacks salt and pepper
It’s a little joke.