Top 13 of the most boring and depressing foods, those that make you think of death

You see me coming, huh, to put only healthy stuff. Well no, there are very cheerful healthy things, like muesli, or red mullet, or clementines. But there’s also healthy stuff that’s not gay at all, not gay at all, or not healthy, for that matter, but not gay. Stuff you want to stuff with Xanax to put an end to it all. There are.

1. Rice cakes

We can’t even do onomatopoeia with rice cakes, because the sound made by the meeting of their texture and a jaw is not quite CRONCH or quite SPLOUF. It’s a detestable SPROUCH, a disappointing form of explosion which scatters like a puzzle tasteless residues in a mouth made immediately pasty. It’s the taste of the earth that interferes in the bronchial tubes of the buried alive, it’s the melting of an iceberg under the gaze of the seal, it’s a record of nothing. SPROUCH.

Afterwards, you were still given the reasons to eat rice cakes so somewhere you do as you feel.

2. Unleavened bread

Unleavened bread is the only food that makes its eater feel like a dead leaf.

3. Tofu

Tofu is crazy! Completely DISGO the tofu!

For lack of other proposals, here is the future slogan of the national campaign for the promotion of tofu, whose virality will not reach the objectives set for the agency by the CSCT, the support committee for tofu consumers.

Top 13 of the most boring and depressing foods, those that make you think of death
Photo credits (CC BY 2.0): Rhosoi from Horumonyaki izakaya Horumonnya Kansha in Nakagyo, Kyoto

4. Pollock

There are a host of reasons, each more valid than the other, for making a frozen hake fillet:

  • poverty ;
  • lack of taste;
  • the desire to plunge into melancholy;
  • being a shark.

In any other case, the consumption of hake is a sign of great inner sadness.

5. Light crisps (in taste)

For an aperitif, with vegan wine, with soy rillettes and an album by Hélène Segara, light chips, to have fun, for his last evening before dying of grief.

6. Konjac

A low-calorie Japanese tuber, konjac is synonymous, according to the very serious dictionary of modern foods, with shitty life. Example: “I’m worried about Thomas. He very often talks about konjac in his tops. I’m afraid it’s serious. »

7. Plain plain yogurts

Plain yoghurt presents itself as a receptacle for sugar. In the event that the said sugar is lacking in the recipe, the natural yoghurt turns into an empty shell, a receptacle for nothing, an envelope, dragging its whitish melancholy and its vagueness to the soul on a dining table which no longer knows joy, who no longer wants anything.

Top 13 of the most boring and depressing foods, those that make you think of death
Photo credits (CC BY-SA 3.0): The author could not be identified automatically. It is assumed that it is: Rainer Zenz (given the copyright claim).

8. Endives

Recipe idea: endives with ham without endives. It’s a way of revisiting a traditional dish by adding a little touch that it lacked: pleasure.

9. Oat bran

Oat bran produces a particular sound (sisi, listen, I promise): HELP.

10. Pretzels

The classification of the World Organization of things to nibble while drinking a beer is evocative:

  • 1 Popcorn
  • 2 Crisps
  • 3 Olives
  • 4 Peanuts
  • 5 The mix of things not so good
  • (…)
  • 1500 Pretzels.

It almost makes you want to stop drinking beer, pretzels.

11. Grated

Adding grated cheese to your dishes is sad. But to use the term grated, it’s even sadder. “Pass me the grated”, the preliminary to a very serious discussion on the future of your couple, if you are in a relationship, or of your life, if you are alone.

12. Soy Steak

I can’t even talk about it so much it brings tears to my eyes, this story of soy steaks flavored with tomato.

13. Nuts

“Do you want a nut? », « You pass me the nutcracker, rather? I am going to end my days. »

Top 13 of the most boring and depressing foods, those that make you think of death

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