Giggling is cool, and, we agree, giddiness in porn too. But in order not to create complexes over fifteen generations, or to try anything during your next zigzig session, it would be a good idea to take stock of the difference between normal ass and the one on the screen, if would you like. Welcome to Instant Sesque!
1. The lubricant
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Which simply DOES NOT EXIST in porn. The guys have maxi size stuff, skip the foreplay and try the small door every other video. There must be a tube somewhere in the studio if not my compassion for people penetrated.
2. The preliminaries
Statistically, we start on a real inversion in terms of time devoted to prelos and to the act of zigzig itself. Not everyone is always ready to get rocked half an hour in all possible positions after only five minutes of introduction. It can even be very unpleasant, so we relax and take the time to get to know each other well.
3. Communication
In 90% of the scenarios, the protagonists have barely met before they are already fornicating, and not at a single moment is one of them concerned about the well-being of the other. Except if you count the guy who runs when the girl screams oh yeah fuck my pussy. But if nobody exchanges a minimum, how can we be sure that 1) the other likes what we do 2) the other will do what we like? Eh ? Well that’s impossible. CQFD.
4. Duration of intercourse
Askip the ideal would be 7 to 13 minutes of penetration, after everyone runs out of steam and it sucks. Nothing prevents you from doing more huh, we said that above all to reassure you, in relation to the fact that in porn it’s still a delirium in mode it NEVER stops. And the girl, from start to finish, she’s like she’s at the climax but it’s going well huh, don’t take us for hams. Especially since behind the scenes of porn shows that the machine side of the actors is a joke.
5. The number of positions
Let it be said, they still chain a lot for one and the same taktak session. Looks like they choreographed the thing in mode “And one, two, three, we change! Doggy style! Amazon! Wheelbarrow! “. Whereas in real life, when it goes way I’ll give you all the Kamasutra in 15 minutes, It’s annoying. If it was already great at the start, why change a rolling business?
6. The nature of the positions
You should know that porn has invented positions so that we can see the action clearly. Because it seems that the missionary is not sexy on the screen (yet it’s cool).
7. Ejaculation
Just like for the positions, the trick of And go ahead I withdraw on purpose to throw my seed at you, it comes from porn. The goal being that everyone visualizes that yes, the guy liked it, there was no cheating (and that it serves as a start for you, I don’t know). And that’s why it’s systematic. So don’t worry if it’s not your delirium.
8. Hair
Everything is so smooth over there, you would think that porn actors and actresses spend all of their free time scrupulously waxing. In real life, the one where we have work, responsibilities, and an altogether legitimate laziness or simply want to keep our hair, well we have something else to give a fuck.
9. Condoms (so we’re not laughing anymore guys)
Some dubious productions endanger the health of their actors and actresses on the pretext that being careful not to catch STIs is not selling. Already, we would like YouPorn to democratize a tag fair ass where we could be sure that the people on the set are adults, protected and happy to be there. Then, we hope that you, when you mess around with your plumber, you take out the gear (by which I mean a string of condoms). Because life is too short to get chlamydia.
10. The size of the zgegs
Oh sorry, I should have put it first, but hey, everyone knows about it, right? The average size of a healthy penis is 13 centimeters when erect, which is about half of what you can see in porn (kidding, but not far). And anyway I want to say ÇA VA LES ZBOUBS you are not the kings of the world either, the fingers and the tongue know how to do a lot more stuff than you do so we will go straight back down.
11. Job interviews
And hospital stays. And dinners with friends. And private lessons. Level context conducive to baisouille, normally we rather go on a cool Raoul evening with our half, a tipsy meeting in the evening or a Tinder date. It’s less furious madness in your daily life, but it’s still reassuring to know that the people you meet in a strictly platonic setting don’t all have sexual desires against you.
12. Noise
We are dealing in porn with generally dumb guys (apart from a Oh yeah and two or three grunts here and there) and hyper expressive girls who claim their happiness from the beginning to the end of the video without interruption. Already the “oh yes” is rarely encountered in real life, because it’s weird to just say “yes yes yes” like that, but the volume is also quite reduced, normal people having neighbors.
13. Hugs
Guess any sign of frailty has been banished from internet porn and you’ll see a good spanking from families more often than a kiss on the neck. At the same time the goal is to enjoy, not to move you from the too cute relationship of the characters. That is. But since doing taktak IRL involves having a real person in front of you, with a personality, emotions and everything, you generally take it easy on insults in German.