Hi, it’s Pierre (Louise for friends), it’s me who writes about 98% of the tops on cats because since I have a cat who vampirizes all my energy and I even went through it ‘stage of the behaviorist (only God can judge me), I am now the most specialist in cats in a relatively small area. And I can tell you that there are a lot of misconceptions about these beings who are 95% hair and mustache.
1. No, cats aren’t cuddly with you when you’re sick.
The first mistake we make with a cat is anthropomorphism. Human behaviors are projected onto him, and he is attributed a sensitivity and feelings that he does not feel. This leads us to believe that when we are sick, our cat feels it and redoubles its cuddles and therapeutic purrs. In reality, blah. It is above all a bias of thought. As we think that cats are more cuddly when we are sick, we pay more attention to their hugs when we are sick and we therefore have the impression that they are hotter in the ass to knead our torso. When in fact no. And if they were ever really more cuddly, it is because they perceive that we are more inclined to cuddle them (or hug = means to obtain something).
2. No, cats are not “happy” when you give them a present on their birthday
Because he doesn’t already know his birthday. But besides, not being gifted with the same sociability as us humans, he doesn’t give a damn about receiving a gift. While it is advisable to buy him toys to prevent him from becoming totally listless, there is no point in giving him toys for special occasions. Even for Christmas. I know it’s hard, but you have to accept it. Especially since in return he will never offer you anything… never.
3. No, cats are not lonely
The cat likes to be cushy, that’s for sure. But depending on the education he has received, he can be more or less pot of glue. Sometimes it’s even a bit silly because he won’t let you move around without getting in between your paws. So you have to know how to balance: be there for your cat (because if you have a cat, it may be to spend a few moments with him) but not to mother him too much. Play with him but avoid responding to his meows (otherwise you’re screwed).
4. No, cats don’t necessarily need to go on vacation with you.
We spoke to you about it a short time ago with regard to vacations. When you leave for less than ten days, you should rather avoid taking on board the beast who will be especially disturbed by the change. You think he is going to be too sad not to see you, but if he has someone to take care of and feed him, he will be much happier.
5. No, cats don’t need to drink milk
Not only are they not particularly fond of milk, it is also not good for them at all. Just like for us, cow’s milk is very poorly digested by cats.
6. No, purring is not necessarily a sign that the cat is happy.
Well if your cat is on your knees in supreme kiff, it’s a safe bet that her purring is linked to intense pleasure. But be aware that purring can also express submission to another cat, or even fear or suffering. But in these latter cases, there are normally other clues which allow you to detect that there is a sub.
7. No, cats don’t get “revenge” when they piss all over your bed.
Another dark story of misplaced anthropomorphism. So we calm down right away, the cat is not jealous. Neither about you when you talk to your friends, nor about you when you sleep with someone, nor about you when you pet another cat. On the other hand, the cat really likes his habits too much and can quickly be disturbed if a new person integrates into his daily life. As for jealousy with another cat that you caress, you should know that cats codify their interactions with humans in such a way as to share spaces of seduction as well as spaces for food. So they can sometimes flinch but there is no jealousy to put in there and even less revenge when you discover the pot-aux-roses of piss.
8. No, you shouldn’t yell at your cat when … all the same, he’s pissing all over your bed
When you come home and he has ruined your bed, your carpet and your sofa, you can be strongly tempted to take him by the skin of the neck and pif him in the liquid with the unique aroma, history of make him understand that “pee = panpan culcul”. Okay so it works with dogs or with babies (too sucks when you don’t put diapers on your 8 month old kid and he shits all over the window sill, that’s really the p’tites galleys of young parents), but not with cats. Already because he learns by reproducing the gestures they see, which does not mean that you have pissed yourself on the carpet, but rather by sticking his nose into it, you encourage him to reproduce the same gesture. A cat that does not urinate in the right place does so for specific reasons: gross crate, stressful situation, cystitis (yes, because cats have cystitis)… In short, the truth is elsewhere.
9. No, cats don’t hate dogs
There are enough silly videos to prove it to us. In fact, no matter what cat or dog, it is mostly a question of character and again of habit. You just have to make them sniff each other for a while to see if they can become friends.
10. No, we are not allergic to cat hair
POPOPOOOOOOOO REVEALEDOOOOOOOON! So be careful, I didn’t say that cat allergies don’t exist. It’s allergy to cat hair specifically that does not exist. In fact, the cat has allergenic proteins contained in its saliva. But when the cat cleans itself, it sticks its rotten saliva on its hair and you screw it up and that’s how you end up having your nose and eyes on fire.
11. No, cats don’t always land on their feet.
We still think of cats as free fall super warriors. Well actually, they’re a bit like cardboard acrobats. So that they can fall back on their feet, there is a whole mathematical calculation and stupidly, he has more chance of hurting himself by falling (not by jumping, nuance) from less than 1.50 meters. It’s the same when it falls from the second or third floor, if it is not in the correct height range it can crash like a pancake. Moreover, even though he manages to land on his feet, that does not prevent him from farting if he falls from 8th.
12. No, cats can’t see in the dark
Cats do not have a crazy vision as we think. Their only power is to see a little better than us and only in the dark. Thanks to their larger pupil, they manage to see better when the light source is weak but fuck a cat in a room plunged in total darkness, it will be like beautiful shit.
13. No, your cat is not more attached to you than to another person
There again you are going to tell me “KEUUUUUUAAAAAAA BUT HOW DARE SHE TALK ABOUT THE KIND OF MY LITTLE KIKI WHO LOVES ME AS HER OWN MOTHER”. I know it’s not easy to hear but it’s true. In fact your cat is mostly used to yours. Technically he hasn’t developed an affection for you. He doesn’t think of you when you’re not around. He doesn’t really know your tastes. He doesn’t even know your first name. In short, we can say that he doesn’t give a damn about your face. Of course, he can be affectionate with you more than with other people, but again it is because he knows that it is from you that he can obtain the most services.