After two months of wasp invasion in our meals on the terrace, in our barbeuks, in our beer bottles, we can start to feel a little bit exhausted. And when we’re exhausted, we do anything. Like, for example, exterminating all these bastards of wasps without the slightest consideration or funeral ritual. However, if you have a heart, it is possible to remove them from the perimeter without violently murdering them, because killing living beings is wrong.
1. Make yourself a good coffee
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Wasps hate the smell of coffee. That doesn’t stop them sometimes from stupidly diving into your cup and drowning in the hot liquid, but that’s just because they’re really stupid. In theory, coffee is supposed to repel them. The best thing is to burn ground coffee regularly.
2. Essential oils
Unsurprisingly, essential oils are still playing superheroines valiantly repelling wasps. Lemongrass or lavender preferably, you put a few drops in water and you spray. BE CAREFUL if you have a cat, be careful, even mini drops of essential oils can poison them if they come into contact with their skin. But if we don’t want to kill wasps because we’re nice enough, we don’t want to kill cats either.
3. A tomato plant
Just like coffee, the tomato plant gives off an odor that abominably attacks the nostrils of wasps. So of course we don’t always have a tomato plant under our elbow, in this case all you need is a few branches or leaves of tomato plants that you place on your table as a middle finger for our friends the wasps.
Good after between us, I have tomato plants on my balcony and I always have wasps that come to hit the encrust at breakfast so I am convinced at 8%.
Another thing that is used for just about anything and everything. You crush them, put them on the table and you’re done. You can also plant a few cloves in a lemon cut in half it should make them bader severe.
5. Incense or scented candles
Well, for once, it’s not necessarily pleasant to hit this kind of smell when you eat but it’s ideal to avoid having a swarm that sticks to your coattails.
6. Turn a glass over on the table (with a wasp stuck in it) and lift the glass a little bit with a pencil so that the other wasps swarm and get stuck in the glass too
Slightly sadistic I grant you but quite effective. The first trapped wasp will call their safe guys to the rescue and like the wasps, again, it’s not lights, they’ll end up in PARTYYYY mode together stuck under the glass. Well after that it must not be very fun to release them without getting stung but it will give you the impression of being powerful for a short time.
7. You open a jar of jam (if possible just a bottom so as not to end up with sliced bread) that you place a meter or two away from you
Like that, these buffoons will just say to themselves “hey guys, there’s a SICK jam plan over there, come on, let’s go, balek of the skewer with the barbeuk”.
8. … or melon juice
As you will have understood, wasps are attracted to anything sweet so you have to give it your all. Rather than using repellents, we use attractants but kinda far from us. And in the genre, melon juice is a bit like the wasp’s champagne.
9. Spray Them Float
Already the vapo is an essential accessory in the middle of summer to avoid dying of heat. But in addition when you project it on the wasps, you will just give them the impression that it is floating (we remind you for the umpteenth time: wasps ARE GIGA CONS) and invite them to find a shelter that would be like, not you.
10. A CD hanging from the window or a tree
Just like birds, wasps are not fans of glare from the sun. You can even put CDs on your table or any aluminum thing that reflects light. Because when a wasp sees its reflection, it realizes, in fact, that it’s a beautiful shit.
11. Take a dead wasp, cut off its head and plant it on a stake next to the dining table
On a moral level it’s not really acceptable but generally it calms the wasps over two or three generations. Finally, just the time they mount an army and come to take power and impose a dictatorship where the wasps rule and humans become their slaves.
12. Sign an armistice
It takes a bit of organization, especially teaching the wasps to sign (it’s really the last time I say this, but the wasps are sub-mental, they have a shitty IQ, are completely boobies and vote for extreme right for most of them). But if the diplomatic argument is well validated, you can take advantage of this ceasefire during your meal and sustain yourself serenely.