If you’re a bit of a fan of detective films or detective series, you’ve probably already cursed at the amateurism of certain investigators by telling yourself on several occasions “but he’s completely stupid, the killer is there right next to him and he see nothing”. It happens very often and inevitably it was necessary to make a list of these bad cops of the small and the big screen, those who frankly should not have had the investigation because they are so bad. It’s still fiction, it’s not as serious as the real cops who accidentally helped criminals escape.
1. Hank in “Breaking Bad”
Biggest jerk of all, sorry for the language, but the guy is completely unsuited to his job. Not only does he not grasp for several years that his brother-in-law is the guy he has to nab from the start, but he also reveals crucial information to the latter while he is having barbecues every Sunday. He’s as useful to the investigation as I am to a scientific research lab, not only is he useless, but makes things worse.
2. Jack Crawford and Will Graham in the “Hannibal” series
There have been more moments where Hannibal Lecter could be understood to be a serial killer than professional football matches in a year. But no, we continue to trust the doctor even if we find him mysteriously in key places in the investigation where he has nothing to do and he seems suspicious 99% of the time. It’s normal for the affair to slip, you bunch of morons.
3. The cop team in “Dexter”
Concretely, apart from James Doakes who is wary of this strange character that is Dexter, all the others have completely plunged from the start. BUT YOU CAN SEE THAT HE IS SUSPICIOUS ALL THE TIME. He arrives on the scene before the others, he understands everything very quickly and knows how the killer thinks, whereas basically he is an expert in blood sprays, not in profiling. And that’s no problem for anyone?
4. Dewey in All “Scream”
But what is this person for? Who still pays him a salary? The guy has been there since the very first movie, he constantly arrives at the scene of the crime at the time of the crime and he’s never fucked up to catch the killer once when he’s crossed them all. Apart from getting stabbed more times than there are shutters in the saga, he is useless and the worst part is that his friends still consider him a kind of protector.
5. Dave Kujan in “Usual Suspects”
It’s going to be a spoiler so get out if you still haven’t seen this movie (honestly?). As a reminder, Dave Kujan is the FBI agent who interrogates Verbal Kint for long hours to find out who the damn Kaiser Söze is. And during those long hours, Verbal literally uses the names that are on the sign behind him to talk shit. So yes, it’s not Kujan’s office in which the scene takes place, but hell, EVERYTHING IS BEHIND YOU FROM THE BIG BEGINNING BEGINNING, you just had to turn around and read a single paper.
6. Jim Gordon in the “Dark Knight” trilogy
Honestly the guy talks within 30 centimeters of Batman all the time and never manages to recognize at least the lower part of Bruce Wayne’s face? The city is corrupt all over the place, there are really pissed off bad guys and he never asks for the police police to come and clean up in there? He’s supposed to run the police and he completely relies on the strength of a guy who dresses up as a bat and you want us to think he’s a good cop?
7. Carmine Lorenzo in “Die Hard 2”
Good there, it’s nonsense, terrorists attack the main airport of the American capital and John McClane finds himself once again alone against all to save Christmas. At some point, he might get help from Airport Police Chief Carmine Lorenzo, but Lorenzo replies that he can’t because a deer has escaped from the zoo. and that he already has enough on his plate. Fire this person immediately.
8. John Kimble in “Kindergarten Cop”
We’re not even going to dwell on this film because there would be a lot of things to say, but we’ll just recall the synopsis: it’s a cop who decides to infiltrate a kindergarten as a teacher to lure a killer using his class as bait. There you go. About twenty 4-year-olds who are quietly used to nab a murderer, everything is fine.
9. Freddy Heflin in “Copland”
Well it’s a bit of an exception, the guy is just a failed and injured cop who was left in a small post, on the other hand how can he be so unaware that he is in a city of crooks? Literally all the cops around him are first rate jerks and he still trusts them without asking too many questions until he FINALLY understands that if he gets screwed all the time, it may be the fault of his colleagues.
10. All the cops from “Basic Instinct” who are present in the famous scene
There are several of them in the room questioning the main suspect who does not really answer their questions, evades the subject or remains totally evasive and these idiots let her go ONLY because she is pretty and she crosses and uncrosses the legs constantly. Some good fat, stupid male that you want to see taking care of a murder case.
11. Cops in “Robocop”
It’s not so much that we see them do shit on the screen, it’s just that if we have to take the corpse of the only good cop in town and make it into a robot to fight crime, it really doesn’t give an incredible image of the rest of the team. Like really, the other cops must be pure crap so that we don’t trust them to the point of giving their job to a caned dude turned into a robot.
12. Greatest Cop Ever: Chief Wiggum
Here is someone who has a sense of duty, of a job well done and of justice. It’s hard to bring order to Springfield, but Chief Wiggum manages to do it and obviously ranks above all the assholes I just mentioned. A real cop, the one who makes you want to get involved. Engage yourself.