If you don’t know, I’m sorry to tell you, but Elon Musk has just bought Twitter, one of the largest social networks in the world, for a whopping 44 million euros. So that makes us wonder what will be the next shopping spree of the richest man in the world, the one who can literally afford anything. We studied the question and we found some leads, I warn you, it’s not reassuring.
1. French political parties, because he likes cheap stuff
He can just as well afford The Republicans that the Socialist Party, that’s what’s sad in the end, the two parties generally cost the same ridiculous price. He pays one dollar for 1% of voters in the first round, really cheap.
2. Valérie Pécresse’s debt
Redeem Greece’s debt? Not interesting enough in terms of image, on the other hand, buying Valérie Pécresse’s debt is a good investment. Financially it is absolutely useless, but it allows to make a beautiful charity operation.
3. The Bill Gates Foundation to continue to bully Bill Gates
Since we are talking about charity, he could also buy the Bill Gates Foundation, on the one hand to give a positive image of himself and on the other hand to piss off his much more appreciated billionaire rival.
4. Paris because he likes to have a base for the weekend
For Elon it’s always a bit boring to stay when he comes to Paris, a city he doesn’t particularly like. But he doesn’t care if he likes it or not, he has the money to redeem it and that’s all he needs to know to do it.
5. A super-villain lair in a volcano
You have already been given proof that Elon Musk is a super villain and if he wants to do things really well he must absolutely acquire a lair housed in a volcano or on the moon. The whole thing with weirdly dressed soldiers, flashing color diodes, and security that resists anything but a secret agent in a three-piece suit.
6. Mars, because he wants to colonize it quickly to make people work there
You may remember the nice moves of Elon Musk among which we told you about his project to colonize Mars. Since his idea is probably not going fast enough for his liking, he will surely redeem the planet, just to be able to build large factories there and exploit people who will no longer be able to contact the Earth.
7. All the labor codes in the world so that no one can consult them anymore
Since he cares as much about labor codes as Gérald Darmanin cares about morality, it might be easier to buy them all up and burn them to be quiet once and for all. Because having to pay fines when employees file a complaint, it quickly becomes boring when you have so many employees.
8. Jeff Bezos, to make him work as an Amazon delivery man
His real enemy is him, and that’s understandable considering they’re battling it out for the top spot on the magazine’s annual chart. Forbes “Who has the most money between the two rich people? “. Just to ridicule him, he risks buying his person directly and making him work as a delivery man or sorting employee at Amazon. That’ll put Jeff in his place.
9. A little sweater on Vinted, he spotted it yesterday
Just because you’re a billionaire doesn’t mean you can’t indulge yourself once in a while. Elon is like that, he is very involved for the planet and wants to fight fast fashion by buying his second-hand clothes. Overall a nice guy.
10. A PS5, finally if he can do it
On that we are all equal, it’s always the same shit to get a PS5 so obviously he may have as much trouble as us to nab one. The problem is that if he can’t get one quickly, he would be able to buy sony. He’s like that Elon, a bit excessive.
11. The Disney empire, because he kept his child’s soul and he wants to develop a REAL lightsaber
Huge fan of the saga, Elon Musk dreamed from a very young age of having a lightsaber and a podracer. Well he also wants to establish the republic like in the movie and enslave the wookies. We explained to him that this species did not exist, he would have answered “no big deal, take bears”.
12. Topito, because he didn’t really like this top and wants to fire me
Quite honestly, it’s deserved, already seeing that I’ve been spitting on him since the beginning of this top, but especially given the mediocre quality of the text that I have just imposed on you.