The first round of the presidential election is coming at full speed, it is high time to exaggerate a little and offer something concrete. For this, we were naturally expecting Eric Zemmour at the turn and once again he did not disappoint us with his proposal to create a Ministry of REmigration to ensure that people who were not French were sent home. GREAT RIGHT? Well, based on our investigation we found a few other ministry proposals from the other candidates. This is 50% true according to our 50% reliable sources.
1. The ministry of sausage and wine: to celebrate French culture (Fabrice Roussel)
Communism is fine. Charcuterie is better. With his arguments, good old Fabrice was able to convince me to side with the Reds.
2. The ministry of defeminization: for a more burnt-out society (Eric Zemmour)
After the Ministry of REmigration, our friend Eric does not waste a minute to propose ministries at all costs, ultra relevant. Anyway, we told you that Zemmour was a deconstructed man.
3. The ministry of greenwashing: for sustainable marketing (Yannick Jadot)
Yeah I swing yeah. Not afraid to throw a stone in the pond yeah. Me, I see a dish you see well listen I put my feet in it. And then the stretchers, do you see those big stretchers? Well, I rush into it with no problem. In short, all green that we are, we know that Yannick Jadot is not the most elaborate profile for a necessarily radical ecology. Give us Sandrine Rousseau. And then read this article it will sting your sif.
4. The Ministry for the Promotion of French Cats (Marine Le Pen)
Don’t be seduced by his love of felines. At the end we will only have cats with blue, white and red coats, we will look super stupid.
5. The ministry of sluts: to take care of the pork industry (Jean Lassalle)
Sacré Jean and his passion for cattle (and his wife) is moving.
6. The ministry of impoverishing exodus: to send the poor home (Emmanuel Macron)
A ministry that will be in charge of promoting the exodus of the poor by cutting off their resources and sending them to poorer countries so that they feel less poor as a result. Thus, we promote international exchanges and encourage intercultural encounters. And in addition we bother our ass more with the RSA for these big branloss because we should see to not abuse either.
7. The ministry of invisibility: to be aware of the daily life of Nicolas Dupont-Aignan
8. The ministry of the wind for Valérie Pécresse
The one she put to the workers when she visited a company (supporting video below) and the one she got from Teddy Riner and Leïla Slimani when she wanted to offer them to join her government and that they laughed in his face (it’s like rice-au-milk but without rice, without milk and with Valérie Pécresse having a blast). A great moment of loneliness which inspired us this top of the strongest political winds.
9. The ministry of the car-free day and the revegetation of sinks in public toilets (Hidalgo)
At the point where we are in the polls, we can propose anything, it will not change much.
10. Ministry of the clash of Philippe Poutou
Quite simply because he is the strongest. By far the person who commands the most respect. SUPPORT POUTOUUUUUU.
11. Ministry of Tiktok: for a better awareness of networks (Jean-Luc Mélenchon)
Woe of discomfort.
12. Ministry of the abolition of the ministry (Nathalie Arthaud)
I had more inspiration. No desire to make fun of Nathalie Arthaud with whom I would like to go on vacation in the former USSR.